You're Not the One

It's still early, but it has been very stressful to me ... My day started in a mess, my phone went off ... So the alarm didn't work, if it works pun ... I haven't set it back to my working schedule ... It's 8.30am ...

Then everything went wrong, I didn't get the breakfast I wanted ... & now, I'm miserable ... No, not because of the breakfast ... It's Muiz ... Owh, how I wish I can hate this guy ...

It's his birthday, I think ... I'm confuse either it's on the 3rd or 4th ... So, I've been trying to be nice to him ... After the fight we had last week ... We fight over his trip to JB, which he claims he already told me ... But he doesn't ...

I spent a lot of time with a re-connected friend recently, & he'd been advising me to be more patient in my relationship ... Open more space for receiving, & be patient about not having all item in my wishlist ...

So yahhh, I took his advice ... & here I am, crushed ... He gave me a good advice, really ... It's just Muiz, who don't deserve any more of this so called tolerance ... I dunno, how many time should I apologize on things that wasn't my fault ...

Back then in Melake, he got pissed over a prostitute pink lipstick stain on his shoulder ... Which is not mine, & who left the whole lips print on a man's body ?? Obviously those who don't get enough attention, & trying to tell me she existed ??

& wasn't it suppose to be me yg pissed off ?? Somehow I got blamed ?? Let's stop, going back into the past ... & move forward ...

As much as I want my kids to have UK education, I'm going to need my kid's father around on daily basis ... So that they have their father to take them to the clinic when the have fever, & help me cope when we're out shopping for groceries ...

The kids is only the reason for me, for my easy path towards a comforting future ... So that I don't need to work hard, to get the future I dream off ... Like when I wanted to go to Bandung for wedding favors, Muiz is cool with that idea ... I was so afraid that I'm not going to get that if I'm with somebody else ...

But no, it stops now ... If I was so afraid that I can't put on a designer dress on my wedding, I'll work for it ... Save, get extra job ... Whatever it takes ... Yahhh, might sounds cliche ... But I don't need a guy to have what I wanted ... I choose to be happy, instead of being lonely having to pay the price for having the title ...

I'm sorry Muiz, but boarding the plane to Bintulu last 6weeks was a mistake ... Just please, lemme be happy ... Don't come back looking for me ...