Ugly Truth

laki klu busy mana pu KALAU dia nak reply.. AKAN reply

KALAU dia NAK kau

Ok, thanks a lot ... Walaupun it hurts to know, or accept ... Tapi kene terima jugak, realistic sikit kan ... Sebab dah penat buang mase chasing wrong person, xpayah degil sgt nak 'I still believe he's a good person' ...

conclusionnya. carilah mamt yg stable

tp ammt yg stable slalunya membosankannn

*ammt - he means 'mamat'

Ok, time kasih atas nasihat2 ikhlas anda sekalian ... Saye akan lebih berhati-hati ... Saye akan pegi dating mlm ni, tanpe nak rase b'salah kat sape2 ...

Nanti hapdate lagi ... :D

Fighting for Love

Wahhh, title xbole blah ... Untuk menyokong kerjaya bf tersayang yg sgt bz dgn program 6p skarang ... Saye nak pegi dating skarang, yes ... Dating tengah2 mlm ... Sebab memang xde mase, even for a short tea or lunch ...

Saye buat salah sebenar nye, sebab tu kene pegi dating jugak walaupun dah tengah mlm ... Ok, xpayah elaborate bnyk2 ... Nanti baru citer ...

Sorry if my response lambat sket ... I owe u guys a post - Relationship 101 ... Then you'll know how stupid I am ... Hahahhahahhahh ...

ps: just got a text from him, maybe he can be done @1am ... sempat brew a cup of coffee for myself ... shud I bring earl grey for him ?? hahah, kau gedix lebey ...

Managing the Break-Ups

It's not fair to emphasis (or better called brag) about the bright sight of dating ... Because there is the down side of all these catch & release ... Sometimes you'll get hurt, even it's just a fling ...

So lemme give you some of the break-up lines ...

Some guys may go, "So, thanks for everything ... Remember what we had these few weeks" ... I can tell you, these guys are actually a nice person ... Somehow, it's just not meant to be ...

Then there are guys went, "See you, when I see you" ... These are jerks, seriyesly ... Org over confident jek bole throw this line ... & normally they're player, you might hear this line right after the 1st date ...

Then there are guys who went totally shunt after a few incident, after a few days ... They just don't pick up calls ... Didn't reply ur text, or trying to avoid contact ... Honey, those guys normally taken ... Either way la, gf or married ...

I'm not trying to elaborate on men's behavior ... I'm sharing my tots on how I handle the break-ups ... Hahah, as I met new guy forth nightly ... So does the break-ups occur la ...

Normally, it's easy because - I already have somebody else ... So, no space to grieve ... Just jump on & enjoy the fun right before ur eyes ... :D

When it hurts, don't do stupid things ... Like trying to walk in the dark @3am in the morning ... Wishing something bad to happened, then konon2 u got the attention la ??

No !!! I just done that, pastu nampak babi gemok giler ... Baru nak ingat dunia ?? Hahah, kalau masuk spital kan naye ... Kat chart stated, 'kene rempuh babi' ... Hine kot ?? (This also applied on fake accident drama, ok ??) No2, & it's like 30% chances jek kot ... Or even less ?? That ur ex will care & come to visit ... Kalau die bz dgn gf baru ?? Bye2 la ...

Go treat yourself, manicure & pedicure ... Jangan pegi tengok wayang sorang2 !!! Nanti lagi depress ... Do something that doesn't need accompanier ... Like shopping, or settle kan permohonan pemgurangan bayaran balik loan MARA ... Hahah, things yg xperlu susah kan other parties ...

Some people may went crazy, trying to contact the ex ... According to my sister, she need an explanation ... That was me back then when I'm in UiTM ... I went crazy thinking, why that guy showed up @Puduraya (mase tu manade Terminal Bas Sepadu) ... If he wasn't serious about the break up ...

But as I grew older each year, explanation wasn't really necessary anymore ... I mean, they're still leaving rite ?? Especially when then eager to be wif someone else ... In my point of view, the explanation is more hurting ... So, I prefer to let it left unsaid ... Who cares what he thinks, he'd already be the past ...

This is my way of grieving, less talk ... More party ... :D - Tapi rambut sama hitam, hati lain2 ... You needs might be different from me, & the way we understand things might not be the same ...

It's just the matter of time, when you find happiness ... You'll forget about all the pain ...

How I Get the Guys All Over Me

I did mentioned about meeting a new guy every weekends in my previous post ... Ala, when I told you guys about making my blog all about GUYS ... By 'meeting a new guy' I mean, have them sticked like glued all night ... Until - you set the limit ladies ... Hahah, poyo ...

Since I went out twice this weekend, I met 2 new guys ... Heheh, don't worry ... This post is not meant for bragging ... I wanna share my approach in getting the attention ... But lemme warn you, all the advice are very much experimental ...

From my experience ... It might not attract the 'fish' you desired, but it will surely land you a fish ... Depends on the guy's interest ... But I can tell you, it kept the guy calling in the morning ... :D

1. Play Angel

I always put on my good girl face when we hit the club ... Most of the time, it works ... Pick up line that will most probably pop up are:

- You're like the goddess tonight ...

- You paling sopan skali kat cni ...

- You look like a good girl (hahah, ni paling klakar) ...

Risk: Bukan all guys will be turned on by this budget baik act ... So you might get the attention from his friends instead of him ...

2. Ignorance

I gave one example in my post - Dear Carlos ... When you bumped into Syamsul Yusof & he said, "you look familiar la" ... Xpayah la gedix said, "owh, yeke ?? Why do you say so ??" Cheap ok ?? Instead, just reply - "No, no ... We never met" ... Or you can said, "owh, yahhh ... I looked like Vanidah Imran" ... Hahahhahahhahahahhah ...

Risk: Might chased the guy away, sebab poyo sangat ... Well again, depends on what kind of guy he is ... If he's the adventures type, then game on girls ... Because it's a challenge to them that they got ignored ...

3. Insulting

Sometimes I do, insult the guy I've been eying on ... Honestly, the guys do that as well ... Like when I put on my Zara raincoat, the guy went - "I tot it's winter" ... Lempang ?? It's actually meant to keep the conversation going ... Insulting will get the other party to react, normally they will tend to get defensive ...

Risk: Know the limit, don't go on too harsh ... Enough that it can be consider as a joke, make sure it won't hurt others ...

4. Don't Try Too Hard

Fake lashes, dirty dance (especially when it been repeated over & over again) ... Is just going to make it look like you're trying too hard ... Just stay classy, it's hot !!!

Risk: No effort at all will might be understood as not interested ...

5. Be Yourself

Don't try to be somebody else, you don't have to be bitchy like another girls in the table to get notice ... She maybe interesting that way, find a thing that you can do best to steal the attention ...

Risk: Some guys maybe found you not interesting ... Again, depends on the guy's taste ...

Bottom line, these might not work on the guy you expect to attract ... As different person have different taste, or intention ... Like a guy looking for fun, will approach girls that seems easy if you know what I mean ...

As I mention, these is the approaches I used when I went out jual saham ;p ... & mostly, it works ... Cume that Syamsul Yusof part didn't work ... Sebab die lagi poyo, hahah ... Level poyo juga penting, sebab org poyo ni confident level die tinggi ... So they can have another offer easily bile you jual mahal sgt ...

It might not be extreme, but as I said - it can keep the guys coming back ...

Extra Tips: be confident & get some good attitude ... Personality can shine better than your appearence ...

Dear Carlos

I better do this now, before the week ends ... Then I'm gonna be stuck with work next week, then all these won't be that exciting to share ... Post ini might be sangat poyo, readers please be prepared ... Hahahhahahahhahah ...

Changkat is another happening place for clubs at the moment ... Something like Heritage Row, but at the moment it's kind of the melting pot in kl ... By melting pot, I mean ... Center of attraction ... Senang ckp, tempat mat salleh lepak ... Heheh ...

I don't have any favorite place in particular ... For ambiance, I really love to hangout around the Curve ... Because it make me feel civilized ... Ape kah ?? Hahah, but I love it ... Make myself in control ...

Changkat ?? Far2 different from the Curve ... It's packed, limited parking space ... It's a row of shop lots transformed into clubs ... It is hectic around there ... Apsal aku review pasal Changkat pulak ni ?? Hampeh tul ...

My point is - last week when I was there with the high school sweetheart ... I was introduced to Andres ... Owner of one of the club there ... American, Australian ?? I don't know, because I was not paying attention on them ...

I don't know, it's just me ... Just like I prefer the Curve instead of Changkat, I prefer a Malay guy over mat salleh ... Like when I met Carlos -

Carlos: Hi, I'm Collar ??

Me: What ?? Like shirt collar ?? (Imagine me making sigh language of shirt collar on a dress, hahah)

Carlos: No ... CAR LOSS ... (hahahhahahahahhahahh)

Me: Owh, Carlos like desperate housewives Carlos ??

Carlos: Yeah, I'm from (I already forgot) ...

Me: I don't care ...

See ?? I don't know, maybe it's what my mum been telling me since I was a kid ... Perfect guy means - tall, dark & handsome ... Hahah, totally a lie ahhh !!! I love je super fair guy, like the lawyer ... & that guy working with JKR ...

I don't know, maybe I'm being in control too much ... Or maybe it's glued in my mind that the relationship with foreign guy is too good to be true ... So I rejected it since day 1 ?? Owh, I remember rejecting an East Asian guy back then in college ...

But when a Malay guy say 'hi', I'll put effort to translate him into my 1st impression ... Or honestly speaking, flirt back ... ;p

I don't hate them, it's just not working for me ... Or sebenarnye I got my heart locked for some other guy ?? Hahah ... I'm not sure about that ... As far as I can remember, if I reserve a place for some guy ... I'll be staying home watching my tv series ... Really la, percaye la ...

I'll stay home dlm proses mengurat, cover baik la ... But somehow that didn't work as well, clearly ... Hahah ... So better I went out enjoying myself ...

I went to see Muiz at the airport yesterday ... Yahhh, he cared about me ... When I'm right in front of his eyes ... So I guess it made me feels the same about him, I love him ... When he's there before my eyes ...

Yes, it's so unfair ... Tapi mcm la he don't have any other girls who he kept in touch, somehow claim to me that they're way over ... & the one month old text is still there in the BlackBerry kan ?? Yahhh mokcik, that will make you a better person la kan ??

I'm just exploring the option, trust me ... I knew Muiz better than you guys do ... He's just not sure yet about taking the next step in our relationship ... & I'm just not that kind of girl who stay home & wait ... & I can't keep pretending I'm a heaven sent gf all the time, I'll made up my mind soon ...

Bintulu - Day 3

It sucks sebenar nye ... Sebab tu malas nak update ...

Muiz keje lagi, half day ... I went down to the lobby to purchase late check out, but they can't give me any ... Since the system didn't work yet in Bintulu ... So, imagine ... 9.15am baru t'hegeh2 turun bawah ... Then kene rush back, up to the room ... Nak packing bagai, have to check out at 10am ?? Yes, Tune Hotel kene check out at 10.00am !!!

Then, I have to wait for Muiz about an hour ... I had enough meal at nearby cafe, then we went to the local market to find ikan masin & gambir (utk Fiq, hahahhahahahahahh ... Padan muke, memang saje aku nak kantoi kan kau kat cni) ...

Then ... At 2pm dah reach the airport, my flight 4.30 ok ?? & Muiz left ... Yahhh, he got work to do ... Bla x3 ... Malas nak complaint lebey2, walaupun sebenar nye kecik ati ... Just because it's Bintulu kot, if I'm in KK then ... It shouldn't be a problem pun if he drop me off 2hours early ... Because I know what to do ...

I mean, if he left me waiting for 2hours around kl ... Or let say Melaka, comfirm la mokcik gi shopping kan ?? Heheh ... Sumer bende kau komplen mokcik, too much attention rimas ... Not enuf time nak bunyik ... Heheh, b!+c# slap !!!

So, as I arrived ... I wait another hour (++) lagi ... Sebab my sister lambat (yeahhh bebe, you're in my blog) ... Hahahahhahahahahh ...

Lambat nyer update, basi dah ... Dah siap gaduh dgn Muiz pasal nak pegi kursus kawen ... He already done his, that's mean I have to go on my own ... Memang hangin la kan ...

Hmm, this week going to be in airport once again ... Fetch daddie & the 'kain's ... Hahah, sampai xmuat bag daddie shopping ... I kirim lace, but he said they have like 2-6inch width ... Sampai gaduh2 la tadi, hahahahhahhahah ... Penat nak tanya thru the phone what else do they offer there ... Nak kene pegi Delhi jugak ni one day, shopping kat sane ...

If it's nice, I'll post the picture later yahhh ... Bisnes2 !!! Hahahhahahahh ...

What else do I want to share with you yahhh ?? Lupe ...

Bintulu - Day 2

Dah almost a week rupe nya, I didn't update my blog ... Pastu nak ngamuk xtentu pasal, kenape traffic xbanyak ... Hahah, sengal ...

I almost forgot what I did in Bintulu on the 2nd day, heheh ... But there's nothing much ... Since it's Friday, & MS is working ... I spent the day sleeping in the room + watching movie on StarMovies ... Sampai the tv shut down, hahah ...

U have to top up your tv credit, they only provide 24hrs (with extra cost of course) when you checked in ... Hahah, so next time I know how to manage my air-cond & tv when staying in Tune Hotel ... Hahah, tido sile tutup tv !!! & I only utilized 24hrs of the air-cond credit, sebab saye xtahan sejuk ... :D

So that night, we went for dinner at Peace Garden ... A seafood restaurant ... The hot appetizer is delicious !!! & so does the vege & prawns ... But the fish sucks !!! Too much shrimp paste I guess ...

We went to the snooker with a friend of MS, it's not that much fun things to do there ... I think Kerteh is much more better, yahhh ... Because we have Mesra Mall here !!! Later then we went to the hottest (or shud I say the only ??) club in the compound of the Everly Resort ... Checking out the scene, interesting ?? Not really, it's like KK 5years back ... When all the KL inspired clubs does not exist ...

The girls there mostly knew each other, then there's a few 'banker' around who either look like a tourist or exec working there in Bintulu ... But the girls in the band ?? Awesome !!! They're sizzling hot !!! They're from Philippines, of course they're hot ...

Owh, I forgot !!! I had breakfast in San Fransisco Coffee that morning ... Hahah, I want the bagel !!! But they're out of stock ... So I have to be satisfied, heheh ... There'e no other choice !!!

Boring huh ?? Yes, I admit ... But this is it, this is my life with MS around ... He'll be away most of the time, & I have to manage everything on my own ... Laundry, groceries ... But I'm good with it, since I know what I'm about to deal wif ...

Instead on having promises of getting things done, but in the end I have to do it all by myself ... It's as simple as picking up my dress from the dry cleaner or buying my favorite flavored tea ... But having someone to do it for you is a huge relieve after a stressful day of finishing a report ...

A dear friend once told me, 'When guys show how much they care, you will be surprised by how much they thought about you' ... Even it's a piece of roti telur bawang, it mean something that you remembered your loved ones favorite & put some effort to get it ... Even it's only to walk 50meters away to the mamak stall ...

Hah ?? Merepek tibe2 ... Hahah, my point is ... It's good enough that he's there, even if he's busy with his work ... Kalau bf ko sebok layan ko, xbuat keje ... Ko komen bf ko xcommited to his job pulak kan mokcik ?? Hahah ...

It's about me, understanding his job ... Just like he understand my action - when I have to reject his call sebab nak jumpe pengarah ... :D ... It's good enough to see the look in his eyes on the rings, when I dragged him into the jeweleries store ... & he can say, 'I love you' before he hang up the phone ...

I'll update later on the 3rd day of my Bintulu trip, Yani ajak pegi site ... Gedix kan ??

Eat, Pray, LOVE - Day 1

The day started hectically, as I went to bed before I'm done packing ... Stormed into the heavy rain, 5am in the morning to get the ordered gardenia from 7eleven ... Then rushed to the airport, which I think I have to reach there around 5.30am since my flight is at 7.30 ...

I arrived in LCCT about 6.30am, convinced that I'm already late ... Dgn kelam kabut nya carik counter check-in for Bintulu, xde !!! I tot it's closed ... Somehow I managed to checked in at counter R18, sempat beli coffee lagi ... Boarding time = 6.50am ...

This is my advice, if you have an early morning flight from LCCT ... It's chaotic, be there early ... Because there are flight to almost everywhere in the morning (6.30am - 8.00am) ... Johor Bahru, Alor Star ... Kota Kinabalu, Kuching ... Miri, and Bintulu of course ...

I have to line up for at least 200m before security check, with gardenia & hand luggage ... Hahah, it's a mess !!! It's around 7am when they allowed us to board ... Guess what ?? The plane was at the end of all the walkways !!! Seriously ... It's F104, I think it's about 10mins walk ...

So ladies, just wear a comfy sandals/shoes when you're boarding on Air Asia ... Especially when you have a hand luggage ... I missed to snap a photo of the planes lining in front of the gates, before the sun came up ... Hahah, I always love hectic moment ... Like I love KL morning rush ...

I don't wanna share my terrible experience on the flight, it's nothing about the service ... It's just my unsatisfied expectation on the poorly mannered passengers ... Let me just put it this way - it's a discomfort 2hours flight with a malfunctioning massage seat ... Yes, thanks to pakcik kat blakang ...

There's nothing much to do, as MS is still working ... He have dinner at Selera Kampung, the Nasi Ayam Penyet was superb ... What do you think about my capability of eating chicken breast ?? Hahah, almost 0 rite ?? Somehow I manage to eat them, enough to make me full ... Heheh, xhabes sebab bnyk sgt ...

sambal, terbaek

We went back around 10pm, trus tido ... Hahahahaahahahah ... Later ...

Kenape Saye Rase Anda xCool

Post ini adalah dedikasi untuk seseorang, sile sedar diri ... Saye xsuke awak, sebab awak memang xcool ... Dah la xcool, pastu budget hot stuff !!! Di bawah ini adalah penerangan untuk menyokong pendapat tersebut (bahawa anda memang xcool) ...

1. Aplikasi utama dalam Facebook anda antara nya ialah:

i. anda hensem, sederhana, atau tahap beg plastik..

ii. Pangkat Anda Dalam Kongsi Gelap

iii. Adakan anda boley dapat A dalam bahasa kelantan??

Care mengatasi: we do that kind of quizzes every once in a while utk mengisi mase lapang ... Tapi delete la trus kan, utk mengelakkan pop ups yg menyakitkan mata in future ...

Anda Cool Jika: Application utama anda FarmVille, Cafe World ... It Girl, Sorority Life ... Texas HoldEm Poker ...

Hahahahahahahahhah ...

2. Nak b'gayut/sms 24jam dgn gf/bf anda ... 1 sms ketika dlm sesi girls hangout will make the girls go 'Ouuuwwwhhhhhh' ... Tapi bile anda menghadap phone anda setiap detik & ketika di kala kluar dgn teman2, (especially bile waiter/mapley tgh tunggu nak ambik order, & anda sebok nak gayut time2 tu jugak) ade baik nye anda pegi dating dgn bf/gf jek la ... Dr buat muke xikhlas lepak dgn member2 ...

Care mengatasi: jadi la bf/gf yg understanding ... Bile bf/gf kluar lepak tu ... Biar la die have his/her own time & space ... Jgn sebok2 nak suruh report 24-jam ... Please ...

Anda Cool Jika: Bagi duit kat gf, suruh die pegi shopping bile anda nak lepak main PS dgn member2 ... Yeahhh !!!

3. Beli/bawak teddy bear utk bf/gf sebesar diri sendiri pd usia lanjut ... What are you thinking ??

Care mengatasi: GROW UP and be thoughtful ... Remember the phrase 'less is more', & small won't necessarily be cheap/forget-able ... Find something practical ...

Anda Cool Jika: bagi sebakul teddy bear shaped chocolates ... Hahahahahhah, this one kalau nak bagi besar sebijik keta pun xpe ... Or ... Heart shaped (REAL) gold pendant ... Near to heart, the term REAL makes you emotions feels real too !!!

P/s: Motif entry ini adalah semate2 untuk mengutuk bf saye, xde kena mengena dgn individu lain ... Sama ada yg masih hidup, mahupun yg telah meninggal dunia ... Sorry kalau ade sape2 t'rase ...

Padan muke, sape suruh carik gaduh dr smalam ...

I Decided to Marry Him ... (post yg bnyk 'wow')

As I was sitting on my bed, tunggu mood nak mandi this morning ... Suddenly it just hit me, 'I'm going to marry him', and give him lots & lots of condition ... Find the perfect 'number', the I got back on my wedding planning track ...

But this entry won't be about him, or anything related to the wedding ... Because this is my personal space, something close to me ... & personal ... It's for my father ... (Wow, my eyes started watering already)

Daddie left for Lucknow, India in October ... A few days after Hari Raya, then last December he's around for a couple weeks ... That's when I dropped the news about my wedding, heheh ... He's a bit confused in the 1st place, as I'm the 1st child to get married in our family ... But in between that confusing moment, there's a few silent moment from his eyes ...

As he lived far2 away (wow, mcm fairy tales story plak), it's difficult to arrange the date ... Since I have to make it fit to daddie's working schedule, and convenient for everybody ... 1st, the engagement was planned on 12.3 (ni cubaan pertama to get engaged) ... Somehow we have to reschedule as mummy will be leaving for India to visit daddie dgn grandma ...

Then we postponed to May (2nd attemp), somehow I mengamuk2 and called it off ... Sebab my bf ade perempuan lain (wow [lagi], dramatik nyer ... Hahah, it's his crazy fan ... Who didn't stop bothering us), I'll explain it next time in other post la ... Then I gave him September, last call dah tu ... Somehow ade drama lagi, that's how we got here ... & there is another chance ...

Forget about him, it's all about my dad ... So, a few weeks after the December visit ... Daddie came up wif this planned to get retire early ... He applied, & waiting for confirmation from HQ ...

And this is what I thought ...

Of course he's not happy there, somehow he don't wanna missed all the experience on his kids' wedding ... Or maybe, it's not worth to missed all the moments ...

I'm speechless now, can't find words to put together anymore lines ...

I love you dad, I love my mum equally (in case she wonder if I ever love her/ love my dad more all the time) ... Heheh ... Don't worry about the wedding, because u guys are my world ... There will be no wedding without u guys ...

My Sweet Silly Lurve Story ...

The first time we met, he took me for lunch at Ujong Pasir ... One of the food sensation in Malacca, for Beriani Kambing ... Before we arrived, we had this chat about my rejected bf to be- a banquet captain of one of Malacca's top hotels ... As we're walking from the parking space, he reached out his hand towards me ... And said, "Meh, I bagi you tumpang bermanje" ...

I just realize that I have to include the F&B captain's story in this chapter, to make it easy for you guys to understand ... Owh, I hate to do that !!!

Two Weeks Earlier- I just had my killing break up with my 8th ex ... I consider it's killing because I was left in Malacca, the place that I shouldn't be as you know I was studying in Kajang ... So I was left there, with an unfurnished room ... No transportation to go out to have meal or buy my food stock, except for the public transport that require 5-10 minutes walk to reach the pick-up point ... And nothing but trouble to people around me ...

A Week After the Two Weeks Earlier- I was working like mad ... Because this is the only way ... That can avoid me from staying home, and cry ... I work all thru the weekend ... I even work on eve's of new year ... Because it's the only chance of happiness for me at the moment ... As working is the place where I met the F&B captain I mention earlier ... Hmm ...

So on that pathetic new year's eve ... A former friend of mine should be picking me up, after work around midnight ... But she didn't, because she's busy ... Partying with my ex boyfriend ... I guess it explains all, why I addressed her as 'former friend' ...

So, that's how it goes ... I end up mourning over my break up, dragged to the next week ... I should been studying at that moment, as my final exam was just around the corner ... But I didn't ... Because I was too busy, crying ...

Before the week ended, I decided to move temporarily to the F&B captain's house ... As I can do nothing but crying alone in my room ... So I packed my things, approximately for a weeks stay ... I brought pillows too, just to make me feel like home ... And departed to the house, that actually is also the F&B boss's house ... And occupied by other mixed of full-time and part-time F&B's staffs ...

We've been seing each other for quite sometime actually, about a month I think ... Since I started working at the hotel ... We go out for bowling, dinner on his off day ... And supper, before my boyfriend came to pick me up ... Heheh, now I realize I was cheating on my ex !!! Hak hak ... But the sweet part of this guy is, he called me 'B' ... It wasn't that big huh ?!!? Hak hak ...

So upon my arrival, we had pillow talk before bed ... Then he gave me another killing moment when he said, "Encik %! rase la ... B gaduh dengan budak-budak pempuan kat hotel tu, sebab dulu gefren Encik *# penah datang office (the hotel's banquet office) ... Duh, what the he~! was I'm doing back then ...

We (me and my sister) had a fight actually on that new year's eve at the hotel, it's silly to mention ... Because it's school leavers issue ... Gosh, I'm old all ready !!!

That was the first time he ever mentioned about his girlfriend, after all the while we spent time together ... And thank him, for completing my two consequent weeks of misery as a whole ...

So on the next day, it's Thursday ... I'm sure because I remember the date so well ... I got this call, from Encik Kobak ... I all ready set his name that time, because he had been calling a few times before that ... So, he's asking me out ... For lunch ... Then you go back to the first paragraph, hak hak ...

I had exam actually, on the next day ... But I still can't study ... I was pathetic huh, I do think things wasn't so bad after all ... It just me that take things too emotionally ... Being too emotional upon the break up that leads me to rushing into a new relationship, being too emotional when I know I was cheated by my new possible boyfriend and went out for lunch with another guy that pick me up in front of his house ...

But anyhow, it leads me to my new relationship ... We went to a friend's place after the lunch, that after a few months had been my house eventually ... And we're suppose to have a kids by then ... Hak hak ...

He send me back home afterwards, to the F&B captain's house ... Somehow, before midnight ... He came pick me up again ... That was the last time, I ever been there ...

We went for supper before we go back to that house again (the friend's place that was my house eventually) ... Then he reach out his hand towards me again, so that we're holding hands ... While walking for a few meters before we reach the table (sape yang nak manje dengan sape nie, hak hak) ...

The next day, I got exam in the morning ... So he send me to the bus station, at 4am in the morning ... And there goes a new chapter of my life ... I failed that paper I did on that day actually, that leads me to a new chapter also !!! Hak hak ...

So, for all this trouble of remembering every single moment passed ... It reminds me, how amazing my bf is ... You can see how terrible my life was during the two weeks ... Somehow, he still there ... Lending his hands to me, when I really need somebody to be the shoulder to cry on ...

Regardless the number of boys (it's weird to call them boys, they were old enough to be a men) I've been with ... He still came and pick me up on that night, to make sure I didn't do any other stupid thing ...

Even he know all my story, he still do his part ... In making things right for me, and for us ... Being responsible, for things that might not be his ... Just because I say so, and he trusted me ...

At some point, I felt really mad when he didn't get back home ... Or when he get back home and get mad at me over a lipstick stain that wasn't mine ... And when I found his text to my former friend ... Saying that I'm the only one who's feeling it's happening ...

But I'll wait until I can be calm, and think on my steady mind ... For all these time, the reason that I'm staying ... Is because he's the one, who came and look for me ... Now it's even more clearer, to me to understand him better ...

For what I am, he never complaint ... He just say, stop drinking ... And he stopped buying me cigarettes to control my smoking ... Of course, he said ... "Kite kawan jek ramai-ramai, nanti kalau nak kawen ... Pilih yang mane sesuai" ... But why should he get mad if I went out for dinner with some other guy, when we're just friend ... Why did he bring me to see his parents for lunch, when I was just a friend ...

I never share this with other, people that know me ... And my boyfriend ... I only share this with my close friend ... So what if his friends think I'm just a girl he kept outside the house, so what if my former friend think I got nothing but my feelings ... I know where I stand ... And yet, we've been together for almost 10months all ready ... Huh, my longest relationship in 4years !!!

There's more actually, sweet things ... Done arrogantly between us ... Somehow, I found that charming ... Hak hak ... Yah, he can take that sweet term, I'm fine with silly ... Hak hak ... This is just the part when we met ... I need to analyzed all the other parts, to find the beauty of my relationship ...

After all, my life wasn't so bad all thru this years ... With my close friends, families and boyfriend that always stay by my side ... It just me, that didn't wanted to move on ... Keep on remembering the hurt, that suppose not to be that hurting ...

P/s:Encik Kobak = Encik Muiz = my devoted love to death, hak hak ...