Everything started in place this morning, I manage to catch up the morning bus ... I bought cold milo for my breakfast, then I head to class ... On the way at on the walking path, there's Mr. Goh- my pavement engineering lecturer walking to his class with another year students ... We (we because I met my classmate somewhere in this few minutes) greet him, then he said ... 'I heard you class got cancelled' ...
Damn, it's the 9am morning class ... How frustrating it is, to wake up and put so much effort to go to class ... And then you know it was cancelled at the last minutes ... I'm speaking for the rest actually, because I'm quite a morning person ... Waking up early morning, is not that much for me ...
So, lets continue about the cancelled class ... Actually, this is the 2hours class ... Out of 3hours per week of my hydraulics, I missed the one hour's class yesterday ... So, there things that I missed ... We complaint about the lecturer to the school office last week, so yesterday while I'm not around ... The head of the school was there in the class, observing the teaching process ...
What happened is that, the student ask the lecturer a lot of questions ... And poor for her, she couldn't manage to answer ... I'm not there, so I don't know how to elaborate how things really go back then ...
My hydraulics lecturer, she's new here ... I think she still trying to adapt the style and system practiced here in Nottingham ... Fyi, the classes here never been cancelled ... On lecturer's needs, it will only get cancelled ... If the student asked to ... Lets say, if one of our lecturer got something to attend during the class session ... We'll receive notice, at least 2weeks early ... Normally, from the first week of class ... We all ready know when the class will be cancelled or postponed ...
I felt sorry for the lecturer, I do think she still trying to get used to the environment here ... But things didn't work that way in Nottingham ... You have to be ready to be here, the things here won't get together by nature for you ...
It just like what happened to me during my second year ... I'm not ready to be here, I'm not capable of paying the fees ... I don't have proper place to stay that make things easy for me to attend my classes ... I don't have any other transport to go to school as a back up if I'm late ... But it just not the reason that I failed my second year ...
I failed, because there's not enough effort ... Not enough effort to come to class, not enough effort to study for the exams ... Not enough effort on the resit exams ... I did, sacrifice a few things in my life for my study ... I don't go watch movies, I left my party life .... But it just not enough ...
I'm the only Malay student in my class now ... I did, failed my family and my Malay reputation by not getting an honoured degree from Nottingham ... I wanted to fix it, but I think it's too late all ready ... Maybe I could, but it takes time ... Maybe a few years, when I'm doing Msc. or Phd. ... Or maybe, somebody else can fix that for me ... My younger brothers maybe, who knows ...
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