Another Negative Post

I've tried to find an interesting topic to share, like I've tried a few times nak post that entry on how much I adore AQ ... But rase hipokrit kat diri sendiri if I put that up, sebab it's shaky between us since he left last weekend ... Back to work ...

So, a few people addressed their concerns to me since yesterday ... After what I posted on facebook ... Yes, I admit ... Aku memang emo ... I'm lying if I tell you guys I'm just fine ... I went thru a break up 3weeks ago, & now there's another heart breaking moment that I have to deal with ...

I cried my heart out, hahah ... But only when I'm alone in the car, it's my ego ... Hahah ... I don't cry in public ... & I'm good in hiding my feelings ... But actually, when I think back ... Aku pun tak paham kenape nak nangis, ;p ... I guess it's the emotions clouded since the last heart break, that I left ignored ...

'Her/She' dlm context tersebut bukan la org ketiga like my previous relationship ... It's something I can't tell, only those I trusted jek I bagitau ... But I'm going to explain things in the most proper way I can do, in the same time trying my best utk tidak menyinggung mane2 pihak ...

So, over my conversation dgn P (nama sebenar dirahsiakan) ... I should forgive him, sebab 'her' didn't count ... Because it didn't involve feelings ... Then akan timbul argument, why kene forgive AQ ... But not KA ... As I said in my previous post, KA is a mistake ... & the situation is totally different ...

Then I had this conversation with my mum earlier this morning, she just got back from India on Wednesday ... & guess what ?? Instead of sharing her experiences visiting daddie, she asked - "How's ur abe doing" ?? Giler pissed of aku di situ, that's the 1st question she asked me ... Bukan "Did you went for holiday in these 2weeks" ke, die tanye bf aku sehat ke tak ?? Demn ...

My point is, my mum kind  of telling me ... It's a men's nature ... & I should forgive him ... Tu dah rephrase la, mamak told me in different sentence ... Indirectly ... It's just me actually, I dunno how to forgive him ... I know, I shouldn't compare them ... I can't compare what KA did, dgn AQ ... But why do I have to care about him feeling hurt being compared, while he don't try to understand my feelings when he repeat the same mistake KA did ??

So ... Right now, lets take things slow ... I can't really tell, what I wanna do ... Because honestly I dunno how to handle this ... Yes, I can forgive him ... But tell me how ?? Let's pray, with God's will ... My heart will be lebih tenang, & I can think about this in the whole picture ...

Give it some time, then I'll made up my mind ... Don't worry about me ... Yeah, things are rough for me ... But I have to deal with it, instead of running away ... Enough said, I'll update with you guys when I got the situation resolve ... Pray for me ~