Saham Tinggi Sgt ??

I lost a friend last year, somebody really close to me ... Who suddenly became distant caused by an incident ... Which I can say partially reflect reaction, but somehow under a steady mind, you should be able to control it ... Especially for a guy ...

I've been doing some mean things to him as well, I skipped his farewell party on purpose when he's leaving ... We'd stop talking to each other for quite a while, when a few months earlier we shared almost everything together ...

He's a close friend la, a good one ... Somehow, for a God knows why reason we just stopped talking ... It's not about that back couples months incident already, it's a new year ... We've carry on with our own life, at some point I've tried to be nice to him ...

I texted him (but he didn't received as he already deleted me from his bbm contact), I even say hi on fb (chat) ... Somehow he always came out wif 'bz' reasons ...

This is how we felt apart in the 1st place, he shown lack of interest ... So I back down, refuse to make fool of myself ... So here we go again, same attitude over the friendship I offered ...

Well, you know what ?? I'm done being nice to you ... Nak kate saham tinggi sgt, xkawen2 jugak kan ... So, go th wif all your ego monster inside ... I'm just trying to be nice, & have u as a friend ... Didn't expect to be close mcm dulu pun, but somehow I'm done trying ...

Xkuase nak layan noxxx ...

Sorry If I Never Mentioned U Here

I was browsing for blogger in quite extreme approach recently ... With the research on wedding prep and stuff ... Then I found this newly established (I assume) blog ... It's my ex-bf's ... Nothing to promote ere, sorry to say but it's boring ... Sorry, :D ...

There's phase, of me developing this page ... At some point, you can see that I'm confused ... Caught in the middle, between my emotions ... Good will to share my tots, & fulfilling reader's expectation ... But I guess, neither of it works (since my follower xsampai 10 [*_*]) ...

But there phase, when I'm too buzy ... With work or something else, then I don't have time to update ... So, maybe ... You're somebody in between that phases, that I forgot to mention ... It doesn't mean that I forgot everything about you ... It's just that, it's too much to pile it in one story... And there's new story come out each and every single day ... Left those not mentioned far2 behind ...

Wishlist 2011

I was trying to list down things i wish for next year, I'm very sure for every single thing I wish for ... I mean, realistically ... It's normally something I knew I can achieve, but need extra effort to make it true ...

For 2010, I successfully accomplished 6 out of 10 ... And those left in the list, are either things I don't really need by now ... Or, not much desired due to some others temptation ... Heheh ...

So, as I did last year ... I made enuf space for 10things, then I start filling those spaces ... Including one that I carry forward from 2010 ... Then I stuck at number 5., but the 9th and 10th wishes are already filled up (as it the things I wanted the most, and need extra x3 effort to achieve) ... Well, you know I love the drama ...

I found the 5th wishes a few mins later ...

So, at the moment I'm stuck with 3more wishes ... This made me realized, how lucky I am ... I have almost everything I wish for, stable career ... Loving bf, everything on the list was materials ...

Seriyesly, I'm running out of wish ?? Or maybe, I should wish for others joy & happiness ...

It's Gone ...

Hari ni hilang suda mood gedix & over exploiting, sebab perangai contracter yg mcm 'puaka' ... Just don't understand why orang Melayu ni still xnak maju kan diri sendiri ... Still berada di takuk yang lame, kalau takuk yang lame ... Xde la aku kesah sgt, ni lagi teruk dr what I used to receive ??

Seriously ?? My task ni, monthly report ... Can u imagine, doing the F'ing same thing ... Over n over again ?? Just tukar value, and check the details ... Make sure semua telly ... Memang ah, kene spend extra effort to focus ... But u've been here for 3years kot ?? Xkan xbole nak be good lagi in thing you did all these while ??

Seriously, xde mood dah nak finish the report ... While I shud have made it ready to be presented by tomorrow ... Haih, just tired la ... Being compared wif others, why org lain ade 2-3 report ... Bole jek siap on time, but my report yg satu always passed due date ...

Skali ok la, I gave reason to my boss I got late input ... 2x, 3x ?? I should already be able to handle the problem la ... Tapi masalah nyer skarang, it's human error all the way !!! I'm pissed ...

Cuti2 Malaysia ...

Mari sambung kegilaan tadi, hari ni memang giler ... Saye tido lambat mlm tadi, listing down things I need for my engagement ... Maybe sebab tu hari ni saye agak gedix ...

Dalam gedix2 pun, report saye siap ok ?? One of it ah, dah selamat di'forward' pd yg sepatutnya ...

Anyway, since 'Publicity Murahan' adalah mood utk minggu ini ... CUTI 5hari dah APPROVED !!! Yay !!!

Utk menyokong mood tersebut, saye serta kan gambar kucing omak den yg gedix ... Bukan omak den yg gedix, kucing die ... :D, sorry yea cik Tam2 ... Eh, puan ?? Anda pun dapat publicity murahan percuma minggu ini ...

Report2 ...

Ini adalah satu cubaan mengarut utk publicity murahan, rase nye ... Tu mood yg bole kite highlight kan utk minggu ini ...

Hahah, xpaham kenape saye sgt poyo skarang ... Yang sebenarnye, malu nak ckp ... Tapi ... SAYE DAH GATAL NAK KAWEN kot ... Hahah ...



Sebenarnye, saye tgh tension ... Carik pendrive xjumpe, softcopy sumer dlm tu ... Now stuck, xbuat pape ... Padahal sepanjang perjalanan ke sini last weekend dah b'azam xnak makan gaji bute lagi ...

Hahah, I'm a mess ... That's pile of work yg xsiap2, kalau chantek t'susun tu ... Makne nye saye buat keje, ;p ... Haih, pendrive ...

My Mum's Latest Charity Case ...

I went crazy last few weeks, being mad to my family ... For things that they do, and made me felt neglected ... But I'm tired of running, and breaking down ... So I'm taking the simplest solution ... Ignoring the issue ...

This thing happen over and over again in my family ... My mum prioritize other's kids more than hers, and my sister kept wasting money, time and feelings on stupid guys ...

I'm trying not to be emotional ... Somehow, the feeling of being unappreciated kept spinning around ... I always have issues with my sister's bf, ONCE the started acting stupid ...

Previously, I stopped talking to her ex ... When he kept resenting about my sister going to GMI, a school with lots of boys and a few girls ... And my sister, as usual ... Stupidly cry for silly fight ...

Why should I have to get emo@involved in my sister's fight ?? She's on the phone crying next to me every night when I have to wake up early tomorrow morning to attend my classes !!!

Her current bf, not talking to me at the moment ... But living on my property, well I can say most of it ... Since I bought almost everything in the house at the moment ... Of course it's daddie's money, but it's my allowance !!!

I'm not asking for them to spent me meal everyday, or buy me branded handbag now and then ... But have some respect to yourself, stop living on my allowance when you're not respecting me ...

A few friends who knew this issue, can simply say ... 'Die xtau malu ke ??' ... So, am I still being emotional on this ??

My mum, as well ah ... She's the greatest mum for me ... I know that, that's God's arrangement ... As things happen for a reason, I know there's plenty of good things that God sent me such a wonderful mum ...

She's too great that she NEVER stop doing charity work ... Helping THOSE WHO DON'T REALLY NEED HELP, prepare MORE THAN ENOUGH meals for us + OTHERS ...

I'm done making my points, because I've done this before ... And I'm sure it doesn't change anything ... So, I'm done fighting ... FOR THINGS THAT ARE NOT WORTH IT ...

It's not like I'm giving up on my family, I'm just giving space for them ... To do things that they like, and as a reply ... I expect them to understand my action, when I make my move later ... And respect my privacy ...

Family will always be family, but the meaning can be subjected to change ... I always love them, but I can love them more when they're done with their charity work ...

Thank you ...

Good People Don't Do Bad Things ...

I'm being emotional in my previous post ... I should write something general, based on experience of course ... But I'm still trying to control my emotions and action ... Avoid wasting my idea and time on something which is specifically meant for someone I'm mad at or hate ...

Once a very close friend told me that I have a noble heart, and I should share my thoughts with others ... That's when I started built my own blog ... But I'm being a monster all through the way ... Address my anger publicly, and humiliate others ... Well, I might not mention names ... But my close friends probably know who was it that I'm talking about ...

We do bad things, mistakes in our life ... As we grow older, we became more stubborn ... Refusing so many things, choices ... Refuse to admit our fault, and sometimes we're trying to be someone who wasn't ourselves ...

It is self denial, but at some point ... We do that anyway, because deep inside ... You want to believe that you're still a good person ... That one mistake, won't make you a bad person ... Because you want to believe you're capable to change, and you won't do the same mistake ... But what if it happen again ?? What if you did it again ??

It doesn't matter what you do, doesn't matter how much you screw up ... Everybody still deserve a fair chance in everything ... Everybody deserve to be happy, everybody deserve to start a new healthy life ... No matter how bad you screwed up in the past ...

All that matter is for you to hold on to what you believe ... If you want to think that you're still a good person even if you've done a few bad things, all you have to do is believe that you still a good person ... And good person don't do bad things ...

If you're confidence enough to think that you're a good person, you should have a strong hope that you are still a good person ... And that will drives you to avoid doing bad things ...

Life is precious, too precious to waste on thinking what others are thinking about you ... But still, you have to think about things you do and what it can do to others ...

Think about that, if you can consider one thing you do today ... And the effect of your action on people around you, and other will do the same thing too ... Would it make the world a better place for us ??