This is the most convenient way for me to reach out to my friends, since facebook is too much for privacy & will look more like attacking ...
It's been a week since the big drama ... Yes, I created it ... Admit it, & guilty as charged ... I'm selfish ... Because I was frustrated with the unfair treatment ... I was trying to prove myself, it suppose to be a 2parties problem ... Somehow I dragged along N's reputation, since that's the best case to win it ...
It's suppose to be my problem with so called bestie, there's lack of communication ... That's lead us here where we stand on each other's ground ... & building wall around each others ...
A few weeks before this drama exploded, I was standing up for her when my bf came b!+c#y on her ... Said ...
Bf: she didn't even thought you're her friend ...
Gf: she's my bestfriend la, you just have to swallow it ...
Bf: die buruk2 kan u depan org lain ...
Gf: who, her friends ?? what does her friends got to do in my life ??
It's not like she's coming all the way up to your mother, to spread bad things about me ... Or tag pictures of my bad behavior, there's nothing she did that harm me physically ...
Gf: if she got no place to go, & spending her life on the street ... we will pick her up & gave her a place to stay ... because she's best friend ... daddie will make sure she have food to eat ...
Mum: yahhh, totally agreed (tibe2 ade mum, hahah) ...
Bf: (went crazy)
That's the conversation we had on the way somewhere (dah lupe la), & my mum & Little Ray was there ... Trying to plant the idea of best friend into bf's mind ... Hahah, Inception la sket ...
So, how do we get here ??
1. ramai sgt parties involve ...
It's been 9years L, & all I've been hearing all these while are stories from others ... K said this, A said that ... Z told me this, S told me that ... Seriyesly, there's nothing I got first handed from you ??
What do you think when I heard something from K, I would believe it right away ?? All I wanted to do when I hear stories about you is to hear it from your side ...
2. we pretend we're fine ...
I dunno either it was meant to protect my feelings, or you just wanna keep it from me ?? But I heard of so many version of you being uncomfortable with my presence, somehow we pretend like we're fine all the time ...
But I know we're not, you know how emotional you can get after 2am rite ?? & there's a lot of discomfort moment that we left unsaid ...
3. there's no actual hangouts ...
Sometimes I wonder what friendship are suppose to be ... I am jealous, seeing other girls having girls day out shopping ... We never have that, because we're so busy doing what ??
Do you really want me to remember those crashing at your place as our moments ?? The warmest event been with you around was in Marche', that's when your eager to leave for Borneo ... & when we're hanging out wif Iana, but that's not really our moment ...
Remember when I took you to my bf's place in Melaka ?? I consider that our moments, except the part when we have to follow that s-babe around for her another pair of stripper heels ... Until you ruin it that night, do you even remember what you did ??
4. can you name a best friend's relationship that you did't get 'involved' wif ?? the bf particularly ...
I don't have anything to elaborate on that ...
Lets not drag this into a list of my unsatisfied needs against you, I know I made it clear that I wanna clean escape from your circle ... But you're my best friend, even if you don't think we are ... Do you really think you wanna flush 'us' down the drain ??
This is the closest point of our life involved with each other, if you notice ... I've already told K when we start dating ... I never get involved too much in your life, somehow you know how hard it is to educate them ...
When K's about to move in to your place, I was scared ... I dunno how much you can take it, with me around the clock ... We have different taste in fashion, totally opposite diet ... It will kill to spent most of the time around each other ...
But we're going to bump into each other every now & then ... Can you imagine avoiding each other on Wani's wedding ?? Impossible right ?? & please don't create any drama on her big day, it's her day ... Let's give her the greatest celebration possible ...
There's always a door open for you, no matter what my bf said ... There's only one rule merging in future - I won't lie for you ... Because it's against my principle ... You know I'm a good keeper, you know I am ...
So in the case of Z&S that night, I have to cover my own S as well as it involved me directly ... Bare in mind that I was having some kind of relationship with Z later that few weeks ... I'm sorry about that mess, but I can't take back what I said ... Again, it's against my principle ... But I do learn from my mistake, you're aware of that ... Didn't you ??
I've set the rule, it's your call then ... Have a good day L ...
we're all look fabulous complementing each other don't you think ??
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