Ni bukan la post nak promote diri saye single, tapi agak tension sebenarnya ... All these while, M will say - '& yet, you stay ??' ... When I went complaining about my relationship ... But actually, they don't know a single thing ... On what actually is going on in your life ... YOU are the only one who knows it better ...
It's not about letting go the 0.7carat diamond for engagement, or losing the opportunity to have Hearts on Fire on 2nd anniversary ... It's giving up the secure wall around me ... Knowing that I can't buy own house anytime soon, can't afford new ride until the next increment ...
It's scary, yes I can find another guy to build another secure wall around me ... But how often do you find a better guy after another guy you dated ?? Like when I left my ex in 2010, with his 10k credit card debt issue ...
Then later I dated another guy, who don't even have a credit card ... Somehow have zero financial capability ... No fixed salary, don't have record on his cash flow transaction (he took cash term of payment) ... Except when his aunt sent him some money la, then you can see a transaction ...
Maybe it's me, who's too fussy ... Or maybe it's my principle that keep me failing in relationship (I don't believe in true love yahhh, evil huh ??) ... But seriously, I think people stay in a relationship because they comfort each other in many different ways ...
Like when I decided to stay with M looonnngggggggg time ago ... I think he's gonna be kind to my kids (future la !!!), & he won't make a fuss about my kids having UK education ...
There are time, when I picture myself married to a teacher ... He's driving a BMW, in courtesy of me (hahah, poyo abes) ... ;p ... I memang generes la !!! Xcaye tanye my ex !!! Hahah ... Haip, focus !!! Heheh, I mean ... I don't mind working like hell, & go back to find a husband watching tv on the couch ... With my baby fetched from the nursery, & mail taken from the mail box ...
Xpayah la a house'husband' who cooked or mop the floor ... It's more than enough that he can help pick-up my dry cleaning, & throw his dirty shirt into the laundry basket ... Kemas his own psp, & help me change the bulb when neccessary (wahhh, panjang pulak list !!!) ...
Nak balik la, letih pulak tibe2 ...
Anyway, it's not M's fault that we broke up ... It's my choice, I decided to leave ... So now, tgh swallow my decision la ... Back to my old life where my source are limited & I have to work my S to get things I wish for ... So in future, if my future bf cannot afford designer dress for the wedding ... Swallow that !!! Hahah ...
But I'm sticking to my decision, & take in big M's (different person wif M) advice ... "Buat ape all the materials if you're not happy" + "Attitude memang susah you nak ubah" ... Tapi tipu ah, big M memang xsuke my ex ... It's obvious, sumer org tau ... Hahah ...
Big M suke sgt kat MS actually ... He's my ex, big M met him during Hari Raya last year & kagum with the hospitality his family gave to me ... Hmm, but no ... Sorry big M, it's a pass ... I'll take my chances, find some other guy ... :D
So, good luck K ... Mengurat ana, hahah ... Siap kantoi, 'buat2' t'salah sent msg ... U're free to board in the May trip, I have nothing against you ... & the next trip jugak ...
I'm gonna be fine, don't worry about me being depress & die ?? Mokcik don't do that ok !!! Just it's a bit emotional at the moment, gilo ko xde perasaan langsung ?? Heheh ...
Cheers ...
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