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Thursday, March 21, 2013

Breathe: Part III - Final

I had trouble sleeping ... Haha, giler tipu ... I just got off the phone wif Amirul actually, we go down to every details where things went wrong ... It's a process to forgive, I'm well aware ... But I'm not going back there ... I just can't, sebab the damaged is too big ... Far gone broken to be fixed ... Some of you from my Facebook might already know that I'm wif someone else now ... Yes, I'm going crazy over en. Naseer Hassan ... & Amirul Haqim is a history now ...

Let's put that aside, since it wasn't the main highlight for this entry ... So upon all those dramas at work, they let me go at the end of the day ... Memang la nak sumpah everyone who ambek share to destroy my career, but I think I dah ikhlas kan almost 80% ... Tipu la if I tell you guys that I'm fine wif someone causing me to loose my job kan, as a human ... I still got kelemahan untuk b'prasangka toward someone else ... For now, I keep telling myself - 'rezeki saya kat situ dah takde' ... Trying to convince my mum wif that as well, & not holding grudge towards anyone ...

Yes, it's office politics that get me unemployed ... But look into the bright sight ... I'll get the chance to do what I love to do, which is being excellent on what I can do best ... At this point I won't say that I'm good with reinforced concrete design, but I'm going to learn ... Make myself an expert, & be the goddess of RC design ... Which I can't do during my previous employment ... Maybe a year ago was a sat back, but let's put that behind and focus on the future ... Yes, this new job opportunity is scary ... But let's be positive and give myself more credits, I can do this ... Just like I can do well in QAQC back then in 2010, something I knew nothing about when I joined the consultant firm ...

I just need to trust myself, stack up all those confidence I had for my career ... Instead of wasting it on dramas & silly matters such as the ladies nights & the competition of being the bitch that stands out ... For whom ?? Haha, giler terasa wasted for the past couple months ... Now I see what Leenda concerned about, even my party animal pal who turned his life upside down pun have seen that issue for me ... Najeeb just give me an advice cum encouragement to start my new job ... Owh, how far apart have I let myself felt into ...

I know I shud have call en. Naseer instead of Amirul, but it's just something I used to share wif Amirul ... Once I've told Amirul, 'I miss the old me, who woke up late at 6am while I shud already reach Kuantan by then ... Somehow get up & leave, trus drive to Kerteh & reached the office at 10am' ... Yeah, I still show up for work even when I'm half day late ... My en. Naseer is very strict, and awesomely intelligent ... I just can't win the conversation, because he knows better ... Let's not make that an excuse, everything will be different from this moment ...

Loosing my job is scary, not really actually ... Hehe ... But then, let's put it in decent way shall we ... :D As I said earlier, maybe bukan rezeki saya di situ ... I loose my job, somehow my car loan got approved ... I've been living a jobless life since the past couple months, somehow I got a new job right after they ended my contract a week ago ... Which mean I'm already employed ... What else should I complaint about ??

I am, very much lucky ... I removed my fibroid, but still I can produce babies ... I have no reason to be ungrateful ... Maybe because of my contract ended, that guy replacing me got himself a job ... Maybe he needed that position more than I do, maybe this new opportunity is the best for me ... Things happen for a reason, so let's cherish that ... I have another week to go unemployed, before I start my role as a Structural Engineer ... So cheers to that ...

It's not the end of the world when you felt at one point and stumble, get back up and do better ... Yes, I'm very lucky that my stumble might looks like a hiccup to someone else ... But then keep a positive attitude along the way, don't let anyone keep you down ... But if it did, find a way to make yourself better each & every single day ... Don't be like me, drown for months then just realize I shudn't stay drown ... That I actually can swim back up, heh ... Let's make that a lesson, & don't forget the hard times you went thru that might be one of the thing that helps you reach your victory ...
To a new future ~

Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless device via Vodafone-Celcom Mobile.

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