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Monday, December 24, 2012

Breathe

Oh my, lame giler tak updet blog ... Sorry to my dear readers who enjoy my mumbling, since lame giler didn't provide you guys with something to read ... Heh ... My work sucks, that it suck up at least half my private life ... I work almost 12hrs daily, bole gi report pejabat buruh dah tu ... Haih, reached the office around 9am daily ... & at average, 7pm baru balik ...

Some more, they fire walled the internet ... No blogging, no facebook ... No twitter, no downloads ... Haih, nak updet blog kene balik bangi baru feeling writer (konon nya) duk depan lappy ... Somehow I manage to maintain my night life, hahah ... Most probably sebab it's totally outside working hours, kalau korang ajak b'dinner party @8pm ... For sure tak cukup tanah nak settle keje, balik siap2 & enjoy a nice dinner ...

Trying my best not to complaint, which exactly what I'm doing now ... Haha ... Just kesian kat my mum, tade mase to go back home & layan her stories ... Balik2 je request sambal tumis, pastu melantak sampai batuk ... Haha ... Owh, the oily sambal tumis ... ;p I'm waiting for my car getting service at the moment, that's how I found time to write this little note ...

Will try my best to post more updates soon, like very soon ... :D Or maybe I shud get a new deal for internet service, hihi ... Somehow akan balik kepenatan, & t'tido depan tv jugak ... Or else, spend all the data main cityville ... Lol ~

Owh, my brother's getting engage this weekend ... Dunno why, but I'm the one who's superbly bz ... Buying chocolates, find colored candies ... Hmm, the chocolates it selves already cost me almost rm250 ... I dunno how much will I spend on my own, lol ... Later this afternoon, I'm going to klcc hunting for the colored candies ... Hope tomorrow will be kind to me, just wish to enjoy the holiday ...

Enuf for now, next updet coming up soon ... I promise ... :D

Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless device via Vodafone-Celcom Mobile.

Thursday, November 1, 2012

Loosing Your Values

I did mentioned about my job offer with a MRT related company recently, the over dramatic title post ... Heh, & I promised I'll share my decision with you guys ... The decision that have made me suffer gastric for a week long, kind of regretting it at the moment ... But somehow I choose to stay positive ...

I turned down the offer, memang ramai yg menyuarakan pendapat secara lantang - "Bodoh, pegi je la" ... But what I'm facing is not as easy as you can see on the surface ... Bnyk bende2 yg saye kene consider ... & most importantly, people that I love are happy ...

To be honest ?? My mum, dad ... Even my boyfriend, masing2 point out the pros & cons if I took the job ... Somehow they'd gave me an indirect message that they actually expecting me to stay ... Mcm, "but if you stay, your house & car interest sumer bole claim" ... And 'But xxx (my current company) bnyk benefit la' ...

Let's not go on & elaborate on that, I took my favorite doctor cum psychiatrist kat Kota Damansara's tu punye advice ... "XXX is a big company, & your still young ... There will be other offers, more promising" ... That's a really good advice actually, I told that to myself all the time to manage the stress ...

I never notice it actually, until I came across this job offer recently ... That actually I'm stressed, my work is stressful ... Bnyk kali sebenarnya, cubaan mewujudkan semangat kekeluargaan dlm office tu gagal ... Event my killer chicken rendang pun tak mampu meng'house-warming'kan my team ...

Mungkin sebab dah terbiase dgn cara kerja kat projek kat Kerteh dulu, atau mungkin saya yg terlalu membandingkan ... So everything seems to be not good enough for me ... Or maybe I'm the one who should get adapted with this new environment ...

But as long as I remember, it is not appropriate for a Project Engineer to say - "Owh, I dunno la ... Bukan I yg jage M&E" - contoh ... Even kerja org lain, you should know at least ... The progress, major problems ... But tu la, as I said ... Maybe I'm the one who should get adapted ... It's a big company, can afford sufficient staff ... So masing2 just focus on your own job scope ...

Maybe that's one of the reasons why I always feel like my teammates are cold to each other ... But then, I can't find one day that i can actually have a nice rest on my leave ... Kalau I didn't show up, 9am somebody will call ... By 10am, if i didn't reach the office ... I'll definitely have the phone call from my boss ...

Bukan la saya nak ckp saya ni bagus sgt, sampai kalau takde 1hari bole terbalik office tu ... My point is, if someone else not around ... I'll definitely give them a hand to make sure nothing get delayed or not complete ... But if I'm not around ?? Mengelabah masing2 call, wanna make sure that I have my part done somehow ...

I was raised this way, thru life ... Thru working experience, that team work is important ... If my other engineer are short one leg, I'll definitely lend her a hand ... Somehow it's impossible to happen to me for a return ... Sebab masing2 buat keje utk lepas kan diri sendiri ...

So, as me ... Someone who came in highly enthusiastic with strong firm on work ethic, will you loose your values just to be fair with others ?? I even say, "gaji same je, tak  payah tunjuk rajin lebih" ... But somehow now I have to bear in mind that - if nobody will do the job, then who's gonna get the blame ?? Nak suruh boss buat semua ??

All I can do now, is hold on to those good attitude I've been practicing ... As long as it won't effect my own work and life ... I'll still be around, lending a hand ... Even if I won't got anything in return, for the sake of the team ... To complete the project with a good reputation ... Somehow I have to draw my limit, so that it still fall under helping instead of instructed ...

I have another 3years to deal with all these ... Since I'm both foot in now ... At the moment, trying to enjoy my half day off ... Somehow dah kene call since 10am, reminded about all those work that have to be done ... Dlm hati memang ade perasaan - 'tinggal nak scan & email je, yg tu pun tade org bole tolong ke' ?? So yes, I have to deal with all these craps for the next 3years ...

I was advised to manage the stress, I guess I have to learn how to enjoy my work ... Even with all the pressure, I should manage to get them done without forgetting how to enjoy myself ... Maybe my previous & current approach is not working, so I should try it differently ...

The new year's approaching, it's a good start for a change in whatever you do ...

Till then ~

Sunday, October 28, 2012

Halloween Party Turned Nightmare

Segan plak nak post pasal my party di kala org lain bz raye ni lepas bace blog En. Akmal tadi, I really love his latest post ... Some kind of nasihat dgn approach yg rasional ... Tidak terlalu mengkritik, somehow msg tu sampai ... Ye lah, lawyer kan ... Tetibe aku nak ckp melayu plak, hahah ...

Dah lame tak buat post menghentam a specific individu, but I'm at that point to go back there smalam ... Maybe seeing someone that I've been trying so hard to avoid for the past 12months yesterday, bring back all the negative energy ...

But let's keep myself in sanity, I'll make this post general ... I think most of my readers tau sape I'm talking about, & as usual ... I'll never advice korang utk stop berkawan dgn die or whatsoever, just berhati-hati ... This is my story to share ...

I left the house early yesterday, baik hati sangat nak ambek a 'friend' ni kat Kota Warisan, Salak Tinggi ... From my point of view, it's not that far from my house ... Kalau mek sue or someone else yg have to go fetch her, kan lagi jauh ... Since dorang stay somewhere around KL, pastu nak pegi Kota Warisan & go back KL ... So it's just something I always do, tolong org ... As long as it still in my convenience ...

So from Kota Warisan, we went to Damansara Damai ... Drop her son there, hantar her stuff somewhere nearby ... & pegi my house kat Kota Damansara kejap ambek barang ... Later on we trus head KL, sebab dah consider lambat since I'm kind of the organizer ... Nak kene check in bagai ...

Somehow the 'friend' claim she's meeting someone kat Time Square, so I dropped her there & went to the service apartment to check in ... Dgn drama booking 2rooms apartment ended up dapat 2units 1 bedroom apartment ... About an hour jugak la nak solve kan ketidak puasan hati di situ ... Then it's time to make the payment ...

Guess what ?? Duit aku tinggal 50ringgit je dlm wallet ... While I just spent rm50 kat Plaza Tol Kajang utk topup touch & go ... & takde brenti mane2 for meal or beli barang all the way from my house in Bangi - Kota Warisan - Damansara Damai - Kota Damansara - the hotel ... Toilet break pun takde ...

The worst part is, my limited addition rm50 note pun hilang ... All together, at least rm400 yg hilang ... Before my event started, dlm kereta ... All the way from Kota Warisan to KL ?? Imagine how I get thru the night ?? Stress kot ?? Memang hilang trus mood nak happy2 ... Trus lepak bilik tgk tv, mlm baru siap2 jumpe mek Sue sumer ...

Suppose I planned to go & get my make up & hair done somewhere in Ampang, konon2 nak jadik kathy peri ... Last2 I end up being Reysha Mokhtar jugak ... No special2 effect ... & terpakse hadap muka dia lagi for the rest of the night, sebab tak nak timbul kan uncomfortable feeling within member2 ...
 
Before I left the home, dah terpikir sebenarnya ... Nak inform my boyfriend, and others ... It's a party, don't trust anyone in the room ... Sebab pernah experienced duit hilang mase vacation kat PD dulu ... Nak main tuduh2 memang xbole, sebab semua pun member2 ...

Ape nak buat, bende dah jadi ... My boyfriend memang pissed off giler, sebab pelaku ade depan mate ... Somehow I didn't do anything ... Actually ade jugak perasaan nak sound die direct, but a friend of my boyfriend already said it to her face - "dorang ni ke yg rembat barang you" ?? Somehow memang muke die slamber je mcm tak bersalah ... So I guess, no matter what you say ... You'll never get your money back ... Since die pun dah joli katak kat Time Square tu ...

I learned my lesson, never trust a someone you just met, even she's/he's really friendly mcm dah 10tahun kenal ... & never leave your money sepah2, bukan tak nak percaye org ... But anything can happen, & people will go to all levels when money is involve ... My fault - I left my handbag in my own car mase naik ambek barang kat rumah tu ...


Muhasabah diri kejap, maybe ade something yg tak berkat dgn rezeki saye di tempat baru ni ... Dah 2bulan berturut2 duit saye hilang rm300 - 400 ni ... Mungkin careless, or maybe I should start bayar zakat & deduct income tax utk berkat kan rezeki tu ...

I think a few of my stalker kenal die, dr kronologi cerita dr tgh hari smalam ... Korang bole tangkap die sape ... Maybe smalam she's desperate, perlu kan duit tu utk shopping Halloween costume for the night ... Or nak beli pampers anak die ... & memang dah nasib saye terkena ...

To my friends & those who knows her, just be careful ... As I said, maybe smalam hari malang saya ... Mungkin dgn korang she'll bahave, so saye cume mengingat kan ... Prevention is better than cure, so berhati-hati la sebelum terkena ...

& to you, someone who I called a 'friend' ... Saye tau ape awak buat, awak lagi tau ape yg awak buat ...Tak perlu saye nak cerita kat org ape yg awak buat, sedar2 la diri tu ... Tak payah nak carik duit halal bagi anak makan, or "You have to respect me if you want me to respect you" kalau perangai dah mcm tu ... Just so you know, I never wanna see you face again ... Tak payah terhegeh2 nak call, aku malas nak layan ...

Kbye ~

Saturday, October 13, 2012

Suratan atau Kebetulan

Post tade hubung kait dgn tajuk cerita, haha ... Just mcm suka that phrase these few days, so suke hati la kan ?? ;p This is work related, tetibe je ... Di saat & ketika yg tak diduga, dpt offer yang rase mcm nak nangis je to let go ... Ditelan mati c bapak, di luah jiwa kacau ... For real ...

I'm currently working with the 4th Lane Expansion team, which a well known established company ... Dpt assign car, staff house provided ... Medical expenses all covered, everything you ask for ... Kire kalau gaji 2k tu, plus house & car ... Jadik 3k la, contoh ... Kalau kire2 potongan kwsp & employer's share, dpt la 3k tu ...

So now ade another offer, from a Australian company ... For an extra rm500, somehow tade kete ... Tade rumah, but project near to home ... MRT la senang ckp ... Kalau ikut my calculation, I prefer extra money ... Rather than assigned car, or rumah staff ... Sebab money is something that you can measure ...

While company's car, or staff house are things yg tade figure ... Some might get lucky biler project dorang kat Penang & dpt kondo, while for me kat kawasan membangun ni dpt rumah flat je because tu je bole dpt dgn limit allowance rm800 tu while kat penang bole dpt kondo with the same value ...

Kalau ikut my consideration, a few considerations sebenarnya ... Pros & cons die adalah fair & square ... Quoted from someone who advised me on this issue, "Kire now dah ade bf, tapi ade boipren baru lagi ensem" ... Mesti kau nak kan ??

Ramai yg dah involve lame in this industry suruh go for MRT, sebab it's a consultant firm ... & tak bape seswai la pempuan nak b'jemur pegi site, for a 5years look ahead plan ... I'm using the easy way up, in 2years gaji dah letop ...

While if I stay, I'm struggling all the way up ... 5years kluar masuk site, pastu baru bole duk rilek attend meeting ... Tu pun masuk meeting nak b'gaduh je ... Tapi my benefit, medical ... Sumer tip top la, one third of my expenses are covered by the company ...

But in 5years ?? Lepas habis project ?? I lost all the privileges ... Memang skarang jimat, duit rumah tak yah bayar ... Pakai kete kampeni, kad minyak bagai sumer complete ... But that will only cover my current expenses, for 3-5years from now ... Lepas tu ?? Rumah, kete ... Sumer kene serah balik ...

While if I go for the better pay, kene pakai kete sendiri ... & of course senang nak beli rumah, & in 5years time bole rilek harvest investment ... But tell me honestly, duit dlm tangan ... Yakin ke you can buy all those in 5years ?? Rumah, check ... Kete ?? At this point, I see myself having one of those je ... If I buy a house, a new car definitely have to wait ...

I haven't decide lagi until this moment ... From what I see, both are equally beneficial ... If I go, tade rugi pape ... Maybe sedih sikit nak lepas kan kete baru pakai 3minggu la, hahah ... & if I stay, I still have either one kereta baru or a house ... But in longer duration ...

Never in my twenty something years of living ni nak kene buat decision as important as this ... Boipren ajak kawen pun tak stress mcm ni ... Hahah ... Slalu pandai je advice org kan, biler kene kat diri sendiri jem plak tatau nak pilih ...

For better or worse, my decision will always be based on my priority list & kepentingan org di sekeliling ... & of course, I'll seek guidance from Yang Maha Mengetahui ... To help me thru, making the right decision ... Pray for me guys ~

Sunday, October 7, 2012

Pre Perhentian

I did mentioned in my previous post about the 3days long shopping to prepare for my trip perhentian ... Hahah, kenapa sampai 3days ?? 1st of all of course, sebab ade keje ... & one of the most important reasons is that it's so hard to find summer outfit when it's approaching winter ... Hahah, dulu tade la kesah sgt pasal seasons ni ... Tetibe skarang baru terasa perbezaan nye, hahah ...

There are lacey dress everywhere, & sgt susah nak carik beach wear ... Except kat bikini department @Debenhams ... Or maybe during my 1st day shopping tade idea nak beli ape, after I saw that see thru top kat Debenhams baru dpt idea what to look for ...

& sebab saya kurus, so adalah sgt susah nak fit myself into a kaftan ... The shoulders are always big, & will made me sink in ... By the end of the day, I have to go with a see thru shirt which actually can be formal ... Depends on how you style it ... Now I believe ape adik cherry always say, 'Jgn mimpi la nak pakai kaftan' ... Hihi ...

Tade la see thru mane pun, maybe sebab the color ... But the color helps bring the vacation mood ...

So remember to shop for your summer dresses in the middle of the year, or else you'll end up looking around for 3days like me ...Hihi ... So here's the total damaged for the 2days trip, ;p -

1. Toiletries - sunblock + after sun + travelling kit rm50

2. Outfit - See thru shirt + sundress rm 110

3. Bags - Sling bag + tote rm420
Abaikan item ini, kebetulan carlo rino on sale that 1st day I went shopping ... So trus beli, kalau tak gigil jugak la nak kluar almost 5hundred for that bag ...

Hot pink sling bag & tote on my right ... Abaikan mate yg xbole bukak tu ...

4. Shades - matching color dgn handbag rm20 from Brands Outlet ...

Total Damage = plusminus rm600 ...

Mule2 ade jugak niat nak find wedges ... Nasib tak beli, kalau tak sure membazir ... Sebab memang tade mase la nak b'cantek2 kat pulau ... Memang bgn, makan ... Swim, snorkeling ... Makan, party ... Swim lagi, & sleep ... Ade la lebih feel to walk bare foot on the beach & tade makne nye nak jump from water taxi pakai wedges ...

I end up experiencing outfit shortage, even dah bawak extra shirt ... Sebab sampai2 trus tukar baju for snorkeling, balik snorkeling tukar baju lagi for dinner ... Then lepas dinner nak lompat2 lagi beriadah di tepian pantai ... & another change for bed ...

The next morning, bgn nak pegi makan ... & mandi lagi ... Then another change to get to the main land ... To make myself comfortable all the way back, you might need another change ... So imagine kalau pegi 3days ?? Make sure you enuf shirts & pants ... Hihi ...

I shud stop now, I miss the island :(

Tuesday, October 2, 2012

Pulau Perhentian: Stress Free Weekend

There were a lot of long2 things we've been thru before we finally reached Long Beach, long wait for encik Kimi ... Long delayed sebab mek hantar atok tersayang to KLIA before we can start the journey, long drive ikut jalan pantai which drag us to 6hours ... Tak termasuk my 3days long shopping xsudah ...

 The long drive, nak ikut jalan pantai sgt ...

Since we left Gombak at 3.30 am, took a short break kat R&R Temerloh sebab air-cond panas ... Hahah, I managed to reach Cherating around 6am ... As the traffic blom heavy lagi, around 7am we reached Dungun for toilet break ... Thanks to my very supporting entourage, who kept me company dr Kerteh sampai Kuala Besut tak tido ... Hahah ...

Agak moral down since traffic agak heavy in Kuala Terengganu & almost 9am ... Ditambah dgn sesat2 lalu Seberang Takir since tu je jalan yg saye ingat mase gi Besut last year, padahal time tu lalu Seberang Takir sebab nak beli kepok ... ;p

We finally reach Kuala Besut around 10am, pegi withdraw duit & setting parking bagai ... Beli ticket & register with Jabatan Laut, dorang bagi ticket 12.30 pm ... Konon2 ade an hour nak mengalas perut, tapi tetibe je dorang panggil suh naik bot kul 11.30am ... Sebab ade trip to the nearby village, takde menyesal ke hape ... Trus hoyeh, lompat naik bot sebab dah eksaited tgk air kat jetty ... Hahah ...

So here the cost summary kat Kuala Besut (Day 1):

Minyak - RM 100 (ni ikut jalan pantai, 5hundred km over & of course ikut kete ape korang bawak ... share 3org ?? xpayah share sgt, sumer claim balik ... haha)

Parking - RM 7/day (the other car who reached a day early kene rm5 je per day ... mu kecek klate dapak muroh, hahahhahahhah)

Boat - RM 35 /person (actually kitorang dpt rm60 je return, harge member :D)

Mule2, mek2 2org yg duk depan dlm kete tu kerek habes la ... Nak tinggal kan je abe yg tumpang kitorang tu biler sampai Perhentian, & buat hal sendiri ... Skali biler ter'rescue' dlm situasi kat Kuala Besut tu, trus bersyukur masing2 sebab ade abe ... Kalau tak confirm2 kene tekan abes dgn pokcik2 kat jetty ...

Mokcik + mek kat jetty = eksaited ...

Eksaited giler naik boat, dgn org kampung yg gi pekan hari sabtu beli barang ... Ustad yang nak balik kampung tu pun happening siap offer kitorang rambutan, hahah .. & baby yg siap bagi posing duck face + 'peace mc 5days' ... Giler kau, duk pulau pun updet tau tgk youtube ... Haha ...

See ?? Told yuh !!!

 Posing lagi mek2 ni dlm bot ...

Sampai2 pulau around 12 lebih, trus hilang segala ape yg ade dalam kepala ... Sebab super duper sangat best !!! Tak terkate ... Air dah kaler turquoise, & crystal clear ... Dr dlm boat lagi, sampai sane kene bayar rm2 /each lagi for the water taxi ... 

 On water taxi from the boat to beach ... Stock air mineral mcm nak duduk seminggu, hahah ...

Sampai je trus check in, we stay kat rock garden ... Which is highly not recommended utk gegirl cam kitorang ... Sebab tengah hari sangat panas, nak duduk kat beach pun adalah sgt panas ... Even my trip sebenar nyer time almost monsoon, bole la harap berangin sikit ... Imagine kalau korang pegi time panas terik around June, so tepuk dada tanye selera ... :D

Tu belom masuk citer lampu asal bole, & cermin yg jatuh berderai biler korang eksaited lebih ... Berebut2 masing2 nak tenyeh eye liner time nak gi beach party ... Hahah ... & unluckily for us, toilet drain out outlet tu tade cover ... So ade 2-3 series of national geography mlm tu ... Cicak katak bagai sumer hade, nasib tak kluar yg lagi satu in reptile family gak tu ... Simpang !!!

Owh, the cost - rm120 /night (no a/c) ...

Xsempat makan ke hape, trus lompat join abe2 bersnorkelling ... Padahal ikut perbincangan bbm, takde nak nature sgt la ... Nak duduk tepi pantai je la ... Sumpah mengade ... Cost for the snorkelling trip - rm40 /per person ... 

Eksaited tak muke ?? Xtido dr kl tu ...

Kalau nak ikut kan, the 5 spots yang the boat driver bawak tu tade la exciting mane kalau nak dibandingkan dgn my island hopping kat Sabah last year ... Coral sumer dah mati ... Just they got extra point on turtle & shark point ... & of course the most favourite coral to see - yg ade nemo tu susah nak jumpe ...

We went back around 6pm, trus gi makan ... Standard la, kebulur bile swim ... & of course, kitorang ni tak makan dr Gombak ... Hahah ... Standard la makan kat pulau, it cost about rm 15-20 /per person for a meal ... Nasik goreng dlm rm12 - 15, air biase2 (teh o ais, sirap) sumer around rm4-5 & fruit just around rm 7/8 ... & all time fav drink kat sini - jus pise aka banana, mesti order utk feel lebih lepak tepi pantai ... Hahah ...

Night life adalah sangat happening kat Perhentian Kecil, the one & only sebenarnya sebab Perhentian Besar tade night life ... It's a perfect environment utk relax & enjoy the sea breeze, however music agak loud & boloq biler masing2 dah jadik monkey & mat salleh joget2 bogel ... Hahah ... 

Walau bagaimana pun, sebab tak tido since I woke up on Friday morning ... Jadik slamber, baring & membute with the loud music & monkeys jumping around ... Until mid night, when they light up the camp fire baru terbangun sebab panas & it's start raining ...

Naik atas bilik, sambung jadik monkey lagi ... Main game bagai, sampai kegilaan tahap maximum gi mandi laut at 4am ... Natijah dr kejadian itu, habes wallet abe ... My blackBerry, baju mek ... Sumer kene angkut belako oleh pihak yg tak bertanggung jawap ... Yes, barang kitorang kene kebas that night ...

So since blackBerry no more, gambar pada event2 afterwards sumer adalah zero ... Pagi tu, sorang2 bgn kul 11 ... Mimpi la kan nak sunrise bagai, by 12pm the weather is soooooo hot ... Memang bunuh diri nak jalan2 bogel kat pantai ... 

Somehow we managed to go for another round of snorkelling nearby the beach jek, oleh abe2 yg tegar ber'snorkelling' ... Yang lain, pancit ... Duk lepak posing2 saje ... :D

Memang xbest the last day, rase mcm rushed to have lunch ... Nak mandi2 jap, then pack & leave by the last boat @ 4.30pm ... Biler nak pegi tu, mcm something missing ... Even until now, still bole senyum sorang2 biler terkenang kan the white sandy beach ... Seriously, as I said ... Nothing much nak compare dgn corals kat Sabah, somehow there's something there ... Really peaceful, & there's no time to think about all the stress ... Kalau blackBerry hilang pun, you still can go home senyum ?? That's how amazing Pulau Perhentian to me ...

On the way back, sempat singgah beli kopok losong kat Semarok ... Losong la sangat kan, padahal kat Klantan ... Sempat la makan meggi ketam for dinner, then baru we head back to KL ... The one thing the boys successfully do to us is - buat kitorang gemok !!! Imagine 6 o'clock tu dah makan, then 9pm makan lagi ... Heavy dinner ... On the way back pun same, kul 8 makan meggi ketam ... 12am singgah makan lagi seblom sampai bentong ...

We reached Gombak around 2am ... Lepas hantar all my entourage balik, I managed to reach home by 4am ... Lepas setting2 mood tido, around 4.30am baru tido ... Tawakal je since tade alarm clock nak bgn gi keje esok, because all these while memang bergantung pd blackBerry sepenuhnya ... AlhamdulliLlah, everything went well ...

We'll definitely come back, when they mentioned about Pulau Perhentian will be closed during the monsoon season ... Rase mcm lamer giler nak tunggu die bukak next year ... Gosh, mcm bercinta dah nak gi Perhentian ni ... 

Kalau dulu celcom ckp xbole nak revise plan sampai 15hb, kalau tak kene penalty 1k ... Confirm aku mengomel, komplen here & there ... Now biler gi claim sim card & they still gave the same answer, somehow bole senyum & tenang tunggu 15hb baru dpt new smartphone ... Huhu ... Perhentian gave me all the calmness, ;p ...

Tetibe aku ade post travel guide kan ?? Haha ... K la, later ~

Friday, September 21, 2012

Redha & Pasrah

Have you ever been in the situation when you don't mind whatever the consequences is ?? Like you are well aware of the consequences, somehow you just proceed as if there's no tomorrow ?? For instant, duit tinggal rm200 ... Somehow gamble je beli kasut idaman kalbu sebab risau by end of the month dah susah nak carik size, or you have to skip mall to mall just to find the shoes sebab dah t'mimpi2 ?? Haha, an epic example ...

Pasrah & redha bring a totally different meanings to me ... Bile the consequences are laid clearly in front of you, somehow you have to make a decision & deal with the consequences - that's when you apply redha ... To me redha are way better than being pasrah, since you still have control on the situation ...

Tapi bile pasrah, most probably you will say - "whatever happen next, I'll accept the consequences" ... & most probably (lagi), you don't even know what the consequences the 'whatever happen next' may cause you ... Ok, too much of going around the bush I guess ... :D

Let's get down & dirty on the sensitive issue - JODOH ... & kali ni, it's about being pasrah atau redha ?? I'll share my stories, you decide for yourself ... Which one your prefer the most, being pasrah atau redha ...

Pasrah: Case of Study No.1

You have a boyfriend for 5years now, since it's been 5years ... You know everything about you partner ... His sleeping habits, pukul brape die bangun ... His favorite food, or maybe a sentimental item he failed to ditch from his previous relationship ...

So you're about to get married, somehow there's some issue that you can't tolerate ... Mulut ckp, "takpe, I terima yuh seadanya" ... Somehow deep inside you still wish, someday he'll change ...

Pasrah: Case of Study No.2

Ade 2 pilihan Tuhan bagi depan mata, satu hensem cam Aaron Ajis ... Keje biase2 je, kalau tgk wayang dpt merase duduk kapel seat time special occasion je ... Sorang tu engineer, balik dekat nak Magrib ... Kotor, mcm2 bau ade ... Sebab membanting tulang keje, mencari rezeki yg halal utk family ... Mintak iPhone, flat screen sumer dpt ...

Then you choose the engineer, sebab he's going to provide a better education for your kids ... Tutup mate la, tak payah pikir what kind of life you may have with klon Aaron Ajis (padahal aku dah malas nak elaborate) ...

Redha: Case of Study No.1

You choose to marry your 3years boyfriend, who earn an entry level exec's pay ... You might not have your dream wedding, but your marrying your dream husband ...

You know life won't get easy for the 1st few years, nak set up rumah ... Family,new born ... You might not have everything on the list that you have been dreaming of ... Tapi redha ...

Redha: Case of Study No.2

You have your heart for someone else, somehow you choose to marry another guy/girl because it's time ... Kalau tak kawin in few years, takut time to produce babies ... Or parents dah sakit, nak tgk anak perempuan dia terjaga by someone yg bole diharap ...

So kawin jugak ... Walaupun xbape sayang, tapi redha ... Have faith that this might be the best that might happen, dah tertulis perjalanan hidup tu sebegitu ...

No matter what the position you're in, yg penting adalah hati ... Ikhlas kan hati, for instant bile anda rasa redha je nak kawin dgn someone yg bukan your 1st choice ... Make sure hati tu ikhlas, jgn kawin tapi masih t'kenang2 kan your 1st choice ...

Or when you marry the hard working engineer, stop thinking about how you might end up wif Aaron Ajis ... Maybe one day Aaron Ajis can establish a business & earn more than the engineer do ... So ikhlas kan hati, terima hakikat itu rezeki dia & family dia ... Bukan simpan thoughts, "it should be me standing right next to him" ...

Saya pun masih bnyk lagi pending item dlm list utk diikhlas kan ... Actually tak bnyk, haha ... Just a few item, but major ... Give it sometime, & don't forget to pray ... All I know, life is so much better when you hold no grudge upon someone else ... Even your mind is thinking straight, & you're sure that the person deserve it ...

Cerita ni tade kene mengena dgn calon jodoh saye at the moment, just terasa caught up in the position of pasrah (totally different topic) earlier & this is the best way to put things in word ...

Good nite all ~

Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless device via Vodafone-Celcom Mobile.

Wednesday, September 5, 2012

Epic Traffic Jam at Sungai Besi: 4hrs from Jalan Istana to Sungai Besi Toll

Gambar ehsan from twitter #kltu ...

I left the office at almost 6pm, & reached Bangi half an hour ago = 11.30pm ... Epic ape, dah mcm balik Penang from Kota Damansara ... Tapi memang diakui la, kesabaran memang tinggi menggunung ... Dengan pemikiran positip - I've survived sampai depan TUDM, will make all the effort worth using PLUS Highway ... Pilihan bijak !!!

Turned out to be, before toll ... Ade abang2 pakai safety vest advice suh pusing, memang xlepas sebab banjir kat UPM ... Memang worth pun pusing balik, I bet kalau gigih redah jugak 2am baru sampai rumah ...

Imagine those yg leave the office pukul 5, ngam2 pukul 6 dah stuck dlm highway ... No turning back, memang stress la kan ?? Blom kire yg terpaksa left their kids with the baby sitter for extra hours ... Or those travelling with kids & elders ...

On average at 10 kilometers, ade kot 5bijik kete rosak ... Tu yg belom redah air tau, along that stretch from Jalan Istana to Toll Sungai Besi ...

So it was 11pm when I (finally) made that turn before Toll Sungai Besi ---> Ikut jalan blakang astro to Serdang ---> jem sikit kat flight over Sri Kembangan tu ... Then it's all clear thru Sungai Besi Highway to Kajang, except for a little crawl kat exit Serdang sebab accident ... In 30mins ...

What I learnt ?? Info traffic kat radio tu adalah sangat tak accurate ... Sampai pukul 8, tade mention you can't go thru PLUS Highway sebab banjir ... Heavy traffic, heavy traffic ... That's all they tell you, tade pun ckp banjir kat UPM that cars xbole pass by ...

To those yg baru sampai rumah, have a good rest ... T'pk jap pasal those who stay in Seremban, sampai rumah 12am ++ ... Esok 4am dah bangun for work ... Tu la impact harga property ntah pape kat Malaysia ni ... Good night all ...

p/s: Esok PLUS ade open house kat Persada Subang, I bet org C2 C5 tak tido mlm ni ... My work related to PLUS sebenar nya, soon terkena jugak tempias ni ... For sure ~

Tuesday, September 4, 2012

Oh Baju Raya: Part III

Giler semak, sampai nak ber'part2 update pasal tempah baju ... Hahah ... Anyway, another surprising & impressive job by org yg buat baju saya:

Baju dah siap !!!

Haha, mcm laju je kan ?? Raser mcm baru 2weeks kot ?? Since last Saturday lagi actually the lady from Rico's boutique dah call ... Tapi tade mase (& kekurangan funding) nak pegi ambek ... InsyaAllah by Saturday I can go pick up ... :D

Nanti saye updet part IV, no worries ... I'll update dlm category wordless Wednesday ... Just pictures, promised ... So you guys won't have to deal with me talking nonsense ... Hahah ...

Kbye ~

Sunday, August 26, 2012

I'll Read This Post Every Time I'm Mad

I think I owe him this, actually dah bape intro saya buat utk introduce boipren tersayang kepada anda semua ... Tapi last2 tekan save jek, never publish ... Heheh ...

It's either contents terlalu memuji2, sampai ade part yg rase mcm tak real  ... Atau skill penulisan saye dah b'karat ... Diri sendiri bace pun menyampah ... Hahah ... A few post sebenarnya yg dah dirancang dlm kepala, tapi last2 save jugak ... So for now, forget the plan ... Saye tulis je la ape saye nak tulis ... Heheh ...

10 Things to Remind Myself Why I Love My Bf So Much

1. Gorgeous
He's a total 180 from my definition of handsome (tall, dark & handsome), somehow he's adorable ... Sangat jarang saye ade boipren yg putih melepak, but he's the exception ... Heheh ... Kalau mak aku tgk, confirm kene kutuk - jambu sgt ... X_X

Skali korang tgk, mcm anak ikan aku dah ... Hahahhahahah ... But actually he's older by few years, trust me ... I've checked his ic, ;p ... So biler dating kat pavi bawak my handbag kotak lepas keje, memang nampak cam bawak 'adik' gi shopping ... Hahah ...

2. Super Hot Programmer
I've seen him in action, he started his work after buka puasa ... & the system is done by 10 pm ... Saye tak habes main cityville lagi, keje die dah settle ... Skali dgn testing & commissioning ... Darling, that was super hot !!! Hahah ...

You know I how much I adore people who's doing well in their field of expertise, so yes ... This is one of his winning point, ;p ... Ok enuf, jgn puji lebih2 ...

3. He's in Control
Walaupun saye ni degil nak mampos, tapi sebenarnya in relationship I love to be instructed ... Mcm saye nak gi bersosial bersama teman2, gi Genting or where ever ... I love having someone to say no, but of course with a good reason ... Like I wanna go to Jakarta, while I don't have enough money to do so ... I love having someone to remind me of the consequences, walaupun sebenarnya bole pikir sendiri ;p ...

When I 1st met him, it was Sunday ... I have a date with someone else on the next coming Wednesday actually, he never really say I can't go ... But somehow he got the power to make me cancel the date ...

4. Rajin Dating
Dah tua2 ni, excited sebenarnya biler ade org ajak tgk wayang ... Hahahahhahah ... Kalau he's not busy, sure he'll be around for me ... Agak kerap sebenarnya kitorang dating, sampai my youngest brother pun tegur - "mcm slalu je dating" ... Hahah, jeles !!! ;p

5. Die Makan Je Ape Saya Masak
No matter ape pun saye masak, he never complaint ... Except for the part that my dinner always chicken jek ... Chicken soup, ayam madu ... Chicken, chicken ... Chicken !!! Haha, tipu la kan kalau everything's perfect ...

But he ate everything, dr cupcakes ... Sambal udang, all the chickens ... Hahah ... I almost made him makan kailan at one point, hahah ... He's a veggie hater, claim he'll throw up kalau makan sayur ... Word !!! ;p

6. He Drive to Damansara Biler Saye Gastric
He was super busy actually, that day I got gastric ... Tapi sebab dah kronik sgt, sampai minum 3x since 2pm & everything went out ... So terpaksa jugak menyusahkan die ... So he left his work, to drive me pegi klinik ... Dah la xsempat buka puasa, makan murtabak je ...

Sebab saye sakit, so bole request gi makan bubur kat Shah Alam ... Hahah ... Naseb la boipren nak membebel, jauh pun ... Tapi die bawak jugak, pastu die yg semangat lebih makan ... Hehe ...

7. Shopping Raya Bersama
Jarang sebenarnya, saya ada boipren yg busy with work ... Somehow ade mase to spend with me, hahah ... Am I complaining ?? Kekekkekekekeke ... Jakun ni sebenarnya ... Maybe seblom ni sumer long distance kot, tu la cam culture shock kejap biler dating 3x seminggu ...

Dalam kesibukan nak settle kan keje sblm raya ni, sempat lagi kitorang gi window shopping sampai Jalan TAR ... Kau ade ?? Hahahahahhahah ... Kitorang siap pusing 3x, sebab first round tu dah ternampak telekung yg cantik menarik tu ... Tapi gagah jugak nak gi survey sampai another end, so end up kene patah balik kat kedai mula2 ... Dgn sepenuh2 org kat Jalan TAR tu, & he can put up with that ...

8. Romantic Concern
He remembered the details, baju ape saye pakai when we met ... The pearl necklace I put on ... & he pays attention, I can call him tanye which colour of earrings he preferred ... & he'll make time to entertain me, mengade kan ?? Hahahahahah, tapi time nak raye hari tu jek la ... Kalau tiap2 kali beli baju ke, underware sumer nak call ... Itu bole mengundang kemarahan ... Hahahahhahhahah ...

He really pays attention, few weeks dating die dah well adapted to my habit of calling someone sementara tunggu engine kete panas on the way back from work ... Hahah ... Since last month was fasting month, biler saye tak call pukul 4stengah tu ... Nanti he'll complaint, hehe ... Every single moments/details matters to him ...

9. Communication is Easy
We declared almost everything, nak pakai baju ape ... Esok nak pegi mane, tgh hari lunch dgn saper ... & the list goes on ... I'm well informed of his work routine, so tade la saye risau & sebok nak call every hour ...

Even nak merajuk pun die bagitau, kekekekekekeke ... It actually work both ways ... Since it's easy to talk to each other, so we share almost everything ... Even I wanna go out lepak with my friends, xkire la lelaki ke perempuan ... I just have to tell him, like I said ... We lay everything on the table ...

10. It's Comfortable Being Around Each Other
When I'm stress, he knows the best how to deal wif that ... Of course I'm cranky & b!+c#y when I'm stress, somehow he'll manage to make me smile ... Siap tolong massage my neck, helping to ease the tense ... We never really have a fight, since he knows every cure to my problem ...

It's not easy for me to write this, I said million times ... Nothing is perfect ... At the moment I'm struggling with the attentions, since I'm a sucker for that one ... So when he's not around, it's hard for me to fight the attentions from others ...

I'm dealing with myself je sebenarnya, I think too much about people's perceptions ... Since everybody's concern kenapa asyik tukar boipren, & not to forget those who can't move on ... Said don't give a damn about me, somehow go every level to get my attention ...

My advice, move on la haters ... Seriously, giving advice to those people don't feel worth it pun ... It's better for me to care more on myself, rather than trying to fix their twisted mind ... Enuf said, life's good for me so far ... Enough to make me sticking to my roots ...

I'm happy, & blessed ... Till then ~

Wednesday, August 22, 2012

Lost of Rhythm

Recently ni raser cam I lost my skill to write, sumer type separuh jalan ... Pastu, jadik pekasam dlm draft ... Hahah ... Kenape, kenape ?? Haha, sebab I know well ade org yg extra concern ... So malas nak updet ... Bole eh ?? Hahah ...

But that has to go, saye tulis blog bukan utk awak sorang je bace ... Org lain pun bole bace, other people with the right purpose of knowing ... & bukan sebab sebok nak tau hal org ... Kalau awak nak tau my updets, bbm je la ... Kompem saye reply, haha ... Yakin je kau kan, ;p ...

Kadang2 terpikir jugak, raser mcm saye tulis entry sampah jek ... Xbest pun, entry org lain lagi best ... Lagi meletops, gambar lagi cantek ... Materials lagi mahal, serba serbi lebih menarik la dr ape yg saye papar kan ... Ceh2, ayat ...

But then I realize ... Kenape, kenape ... Kenape ?? Sebab saye share ape real life has to offer kot ?? Ape yg average people can afford, something wearable & tak over the top ... Or how much an average 2years experience exec can spend on her baju raya, bukan nye baju designer yg riban2 mcm nak gi shooting program raye ;p ...

I shared info about what normal people can expect for some range of cost, for a tailor made baju kurung moden ... Which tailor can offer a better workmanship, either the tailor hanya femes pd nama or it is worth every single cents you spend ... Since duit tak tumbuh from pokok depan rumah, & you work you S day & night to have what you want ...

Sorry if I disappoint you guys, my dear readers ... Saya tak tulis blog fashion, nor a good reference for wedding preps ... It's just a blog with entries on how I survive, managing my time-money & attention ... Utk kesekian kali nya, thank you for reading ...

I promise I'll try my best to stick to my roots, utk tidak berubah pendirian dan terpengaruh dengan arus penulisan blog ... Haha, ape aku merepek ni ... My point is, I'll stick to writing things I experience in my daily life ... Bukannya life style of rich & femes kalau aku kawen dgn anak datuk ni atau anak tan sri tu ... Keekekekekkeke ...

Meh, hugs ... Hihi ~

Oh Baju Raya: Part II

Sila baca entry terdahulu utk mengelakkan perasaan syok sendiri dlm diri anda, hehe ... Mengade nak link, padahal tade post lain pun in between ... ;p Anyway, setelah berbulan lamanya hati ini berbelah bagi nak hantar baju raye kat mane utk tailor made baju kurung ... Akhirnya (setelah ade duit gaji nak letak deposit, ;p) saya membuat keputusan utk menghantar kain tu kat butik paling dekat dgn rumah ... Hehe ...

Yes, baju raya lepas raya tu saya hantar kat Rico Rinaldi ... Tade beading, tade patching ... & he quoted for a surprisingly reasonable price, cukup utk menarik minat saya utk hantar 8pasang baju lagi kat die :D ... Nak tahu, sila email saya ... Lupe plak nak ambek gambar the material before hand it over kat his boutique hari tu ... Tunggu output je la kan ?? Hihi ...

As I walked in, akak2 tgh jahit manik kat boutique tu cam risau giler tengok saya bawak kain nak tempah baju dengan muka penuh harapan nak raye ... Since seminggu lagi nak raye kot, haha ... Then when I said, "Tape2, lepas raya baru ambek pun takpe" ... Baru la masing2 rilek sikit, haha ...

Ikut perjanjian, baju saye akan siap by end of September ... Yay, heh ... Kire baju raya haji la tu ... Tibe2 raser cam gatal nak hantar kain chiffon yg beli kat Jakel time konon2 nak b'tunang dulu, ;p ... Wahhh, memang duit tumbuh kat pokok depan rumah la kan ?? Sumer nak hantar kat designer ...

Tape, yg tu tgk keperluan dulu ... Maybe bole consider for raya next year, bole I'll took early action for raya next year ... May dah pegi tempah baju siap2, hahah ... Semangat ... At the moment ade satu lagi project ... Which is nak insert beads kat baju di bawah ini ... Sila abaikan muka tak siap itu, heh ...


Sebab rase cam pale sgt, need something2 that can popup ... Giler mengade ... Hahah ... Maybe nak hantar kat butik ibu Encik Faliq, since penah hantar one piece back in 2010 ... Tapi mase tu, kirim kat despatch je ... Now kene pegi carik sendiri ... Hehe ...

Mcm dah merepek je, kbye ~

Thursday, June 28, 2012

Oh Baju Raya

I have this one beautiful piece, some kind of kasa rubiah nak hantar pegi tailor for hari raya ... At the moment tak tau nak hantar kat mane, it's a choice between satisfactory & price ... Because daddie bought kain tu from India, it's a really nice piece kalau turned out well at the end of the day ...

I had the experience dgn dzul de classique, walaupun sejengkal jek dr rumah ... The answer is still NO ... Lagi la this piece memang fully embroidered - dekat collar, the bottom piece & for the hand ... So is a big NO, sebab the last time my silk dgn design kaki was disaster ... There's 2pieces, both memang hancus ... & it's clear that I'm still traumatised, haha ...

Then there's lovely auntie kat Tum's Tailor, Seksyen 9 Bandar Baru Bangi ... Which is, nice ... But do expect tailor's workmanship, sebab name pun tailor kan ... Once when I took my lace & satin to her for my bride's maid dress, makcik tu yg suh aku gi hantar kat designer ... Hahah ... Seriously, that's how I end up sending that dress to a designer ...

Then of course, the designer - Rico Rinaldi ... It is really nice to deal with him, but my budget is tight for these few months ... Heh ... Let the picture speak, you guys judge ... Sorry my photography skill memang sampah ... Haha ...

the dress minus heels ~

Another option was my tailor in Tangkak, Johor ... Tapi mcm jauh sgt, to send & pick up dah bape ringgit ... Pastu I don't really like the finishing she did for my previous baju kurung ... Further more, cehhh ... Mcm buat surat rasmi in English time skolah plak ... Hahah ... Anyway, I got this expectation to make this dress well fitted ... So my body nampak cam ala2 hour glass gituew ... Hahah, giler gedix ...

Konon2 nak camni lasource

Tibe2 rase nak send to the one paling dekat dengan rumah, since kalau hantar area kajang pun dah almost 4hundred sebab ade lining ... Wahhh, money please grow on the tree kat depan rumah !!!

I'm Waiting for a Train ...

You're waiting for a train, a train that will take you far away. You know where you hope this train will take you, but you don't know for sure. But it doesn't matter, because we'll be together.

Haha, giler poyo ... Tujuan sebenar nak bagitau I'm bored as hell dalam office ni ... Since tomorrow will be my last day in the office, & sebab dah tender resignation letter ... Yes, I'm resigning by the end of the month ... Which is end of this week .. So I don't got any task since then, dah tak tau nak buat ni ...

I dunno, to some people ... Resignation tu cam a huge thing, mcm making decision nak kawen ... Back then when I moved back from Kerteh pun, ade la jugak rase sayu2 sket nak pindah KL ... Hahah ... But this time around, I just feel like it's a routine ... Something that I have to do ...

I resign atas tiket 'masalah kesihatan' ... Which is bukan la tak bole jalan ke hape, but my attendance was down hill ... Few days earlier, dengan azam & semangat berkobar-kobar ... I leave home around 6.45am since Monday, for 2days in a row ... Going back home yesterday, I dah bole raser my body tak sedap ... Mcm nak demam ...

I end up waking up at 7am this morning, I leave home before 8 ... Naseb Sungai Besi tak jem giler this morning, so I manage to reach the office ngam2 9am ... Berjaya jugak mengekalkan record above the red line for this week, yeahhh ...

My feet is freezing at the moment, as I'm sitting here writing this ... My point is, I'm still pushing myself to do things beyond my capability ... Sebab my mum sumer advised me not to push myself, since they know how I've been living my life all these while ...

For instance aku ade order cupcakes on Tuesday, balik keje from Subang I'll go shopping siap2 before I went back ... Sampai rumah around 8, get simple dinner then start baking ... Depends on flavour, kalau dorang request yg filling2 tu leceh sikit la my work ... & will take longer time, normally everything will be done around mid night ...

Then I'll wake early the day after, & keje mcm biase ... Whenever I got time to replace my sleep, then I'll do ... Even there are times when my mood swing dah start to go crazy, my sister will ask - "Kau dah tido ke belum" ?? Yup, that's so me ... So after this medical condition, I was advised not to do those kind of things ... I have to love my body, pamper myself ...

Pamper dalam konteks berikut bukan la bermaksud aku nak pegi spa every week, it's just that I'm doing things that my body can actually do ... Bukan minum red bull, kacip patimah bagai cam dulu ... Reason being - my oven is still working, & I have plan to make babies in this oven body ... So yes, people bole cakap ikut sedap mulut dorang ... "Ala, akak tu ok jek lepas operation" or "Minah tu xde pun mcm tu dulu" ... But this is my body, my future ... So, I'll decide what I can do & what I can't ...

"You know where you hope this train will take you, but you don't know for sure" ... I do have plans for the future, what I don't know is that will it work or not ... All I can do is work hard to carry out my plans, & pray for the best to happen ...

So, before my service ended here ... I would like to thank everybody for their  help & kindness, selama saya bekerja di sini ... & I'm sorry if I ever do anything wrong to any of you guys ... It's been nice working with everybody here, I'll take all the sweet memories with me & left the unwanted behind ... Hehe, esok aku post kat wall group ... No worries ...

Till then, wish me luck !!!

Thursday, June 14, 2012

Lie, Make it Real ... If it Doesn't Work, Blame Someone ...

Recently a major drama exploded among my circle of friends ... Korang pun tau, kawan aku bukan ramai sgt pun kan ?? I have no intention of revealing the details, sebab from my point of view ... It's something huge, maruah kau ... Maruah family kau ... & I'm not God to punish you ... It's all on you baby, you decide on your own all those things you did ...

No need to explain myself, neither to cover my S ... I apologized for things I did wrong, & I won't apologized for things I believe I do right ... Especially in something related to my religion, there's no tolerance in that ... Memang aku bukan baik sangat pun, but I know what's right & what's wrong ...

What you guys do is actually the same, you both created a lie ... & build more lies around your story to make people (or maybe yourself too) believe your lie is REAL ... So I stand strongly by my principle, I won't lie for any of you ... Friends or not, you shouldn't put anyone in the position to choose ...

Leave all those others out side the picture, just between me & you ... We both know who the hell is lying ... I choose to stay silent in this drama, & it's not like it's a kiss & tell contest ... I'm not going to trash her, just to make you feel better ... It's a sincere apology, just that ... So don't get ahead of yourself ...

I have a lot to say, since I've lost a lot for the past couples years ... But it's just not right to channel my anger publicly, even some other people already did - trash every single aspect of my life publicly ... They said 'God will do all the punishment for you, & if your lucky enough ... You'll be around to see how they got punished' ...

Just like what happened recently to someone who broke my heart, God took something from him as well ... & I'm lucky enough to have someone told me he lost that one thing he put all his faith in ... Sounds evil kan ?? But just don't be the reason for any of the bad things happened ...

p/s: find someone else to blame next time you come around a problem & stumble ... You did a fine job pointing finger for the past few events ~

Tuesday, June 5, 2012

Weddings-Marriage Personally

I've been attending weddings every fortnightly on average since last year, especially on school holidays ... Being in kk on 1 of my best friend's anniversary, light up the memories we had a year back ... Dulu kecik2, I attended weddings ikut my parents ... When I was little, I enjoyed it very much when they let the kids to put on 'inai' ... & I really2 love taking photos with the bride, REALLY ... Sampai jumpe bride yg tak kenal kat hotel lobby pun, I'll ask my mum to snap a photo for me ...

When u're a teenagers, u prefer to hangout with ur friends on weekends rather than following ur parents to weddings ... & during that transition from teenagers to a grown up women, weddings are something interesting to take part in ... Especially close friend's, since ur grew up together ... & it's interesting to be a part of one of their important event throughout ur stages in life ...

As a women, we always look forward on the wedding ... What u're going to wear, how you want your hair done ... U wanna find the perfect shoes to compliment the outfit, you go all around the city to find the right hand bouquet that will stand out ... For me ?? I would like a perfect husband to fit in all the beautiful details, yes ... I am that selfish, ;p ... But then u realize, that it's not that simple ...

Someone that look good, might not be so perfect to share your life with ... Because of different interests, & financial capability probably ... Someone who can make you happy, might not provide you the kind of wedding/life you've been dreaming of since you're little ... But someone who can give you all, might just not make you happy ... Maybe he'll spend more time on work, instead of spending time wif you ...

My opinion personally, it's something you tolerate when you decided to get married ... Quoted from a friend - "If I'm not that religious & have no family to care about, I would have marry the other guy who can give me almost everything" ... But she married the person she loves instead, & tolerate long distance marriage some more ...

While for me ?? Some might argue my current bf's capability, but I always refer back to my roots ... Pesan Nabi Muhammad SAW, pilih pasangan b'dasar kan 4 perkara - harta, keturunan, rupa paras & agama ... Tapi pilih agama, nescaya kamu akan bahagia ... My bf memang xbole nak provide harta walaupun die ensem, or b'kelakuan baik2 to be the ideal future husband ... But I can simply argue a topic, & he'll came in strong & clear on hukum ... Complete with the exact arabic term for the situation ...

That's what made him on the top of my list ... No matter what other people think or say ... So where do you stand in this argument ?? Will u marry your sweetheart even it's clear he can't provide u financially or spiritually, or a guy struggling to give you the best he could provide but somehow guide u to a better life each & every single day ... Or u prefer someone who drives sports cars, but spend 2hrs a day wif u because he's busy all day chasing business deal ...

For whatever you choose to prioritize, the most important thing is to deal with it ... You should well aware of those choices u made when u go for ur bridal gown fitting, prepare your mind & soul for the ups & downs in marriage when u pick up your wedding rings at the jewelry store ... & don't forget to pray & ask for guidance along the way, & seek for help when u come into obstacle instead of running away ...

As much as I love weddings, that's how much I adore my happily married friends ... Lots of luv ~

Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless device via Vodafone-Celcom Mobile.

Sunday, May 20, 2012

Pack & Leave

We always said - as we grow older, things get complicated ... It is, but I just realize that I have this one thing I can go easy ... Or in other words, something that might be complicated for others ... But I'm good at it, which is - pack & leave ...

Some people find it difficult, to leave home ... To work hundred miles away from home, married or single ... Then I realize how fast things went back then in 2010, when I decided to leave home & work in Kerteh ... It was like, I went for interview on Friday ... Get on the plane for a week long vacation in KK, went back beli tilam kat ikea wif my former bf ... & leave at 4am in the morning on the next Monday dgn Ahmad Faliq ...

Even when I told my dad, "I'll leave for Kerteh the moment we get back from KK, if I get the job" ... My dad kind of shock to hear that, but for me it was easy ... By that I mean, I don't get sentimental packing my things & leave ... Maybe sebab I was trained dr kecik2, since my dad travel around the country for his work ... Imagine he gave 2hrs notice to pack, when we're moving from Tawau to Papar ...

Somehow, to move back from Kerteh to Bangi ... I got emotional packing my things ... Haha ... Maybe because every single thing in the house are personally mine, compared to those in my parent's house which are mostly shared ...

So, here I am now ... About to do the same thing, pack & leave ... Honestly ?? I'm excited, to get my own place ... & get committed to my job ... Just like back then in Kerteh, keje ... Go back home, tgk astro ... Sleep, & the repeat that routine everyday ...

Bf ?? Kalau bole masuk bag bungkus, I'm pretty sure I will ... Haha ... But that's not the point now, I'm not worried about 'hanging on' to my bf ... Because to me, bf is not a husband ... Yet ... But it got me thiking, what will happen when I'm married ?? Will I still be packing my things & leave for my job, from my own judgment at the moment - YES ... I'll definitely do the same thing, pack my things ... Grab my kids, transfer them to my new job place ...

But will that do justice to my partner ?? I think I'll be very lucky to have a partner who agreed with my career plan, but chances are ?? It's quite impossible to find someone who can just find a new job somewhere else, every time I move for a new project aite ?? Unless I get married to a teacher, tu pun jarang nak dgr a male teacher mintak tukar skolah sebab nak ikut wife kan ??

All these, just reminded me that I had a long way to go in planning my future ... More things to take into consideration, more responsibilities ... Right now I should just focus on my work, dr looking forward on planning for things that wasn't sure ... Pour my effort on things more important than thinking, whether my future husband will fit right in my plan ...

Oh, btw ... I haven't get back to work since my surgery, feeling a little bit under the weather these few days ... Right now, susah nak predict either I can stay fit for the whole week or not since I can easily get tired after an outing depend on how much energy I spent ... & staying out over night is the most likely activity that can cause the pain to re-occurred ... I might have to go back to the clinic to get things check up & extend my medical leave ... Hihi ... Till then ~

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Friday, April 20, 2012

Post Surgery

Morning girls, I dunno what's wrong with me ... Tapi saye tersangatlah malas nak updet blog since the last few months ... Kalau hade pun, sebab aku hangin giler ... Tatau nak ckp kat sape, hahah ... So aku membebel kat blog, heh ...

Post ini ditulis dlm posisi duduk yg paling malas, mcm org sakit pinggang ... Dengan sebijik bantal ikea di antara tulang belakang dan kerusi depan laptop ni ... ;p Ok, tade hubung kait ...

So, as few of you may have known ... I just went thru surgery to remove fibroid last Monday ... AlhamduliLlah, dgn a bit complication yg xbape nak a bit sgt la sebenar nyer ... The surgery went well, & saye sedang enak berehat di rumah ... Atas tiket mc sampai pertengahan bulan depan ... Hoyehhh ...

Xpayah nak hoyehhh sgt, recovery itu adalah azab dunia ... Aku yg konon nyer berani sgt nak go thru the surgery atas tiket muda remaja la sgt, siap pegi buat manicure 2hrs before surgery ... Sampai dikritik hebat oleh calon Imam Muda next year yg terbang khas dr Kota Kinabalu, yeahhh ... Abg saye itu, yg mendapat hidayah lepas tgk The Arrival ... Last2 guling jugak atas katil recovery, yes ... Surgery tu tak sakit, lepas surgery itu adalah super sakit ...

My surgery was estimated for 2hours, somehow dragged to 5hours causing by a bit complication itu - which is bleeding ... & turned out they found another small fibroid, so they have to remove both ... Those yg visible mase scan & those they found during surgery ... & they have to cut a small incision, mcm C-section to stop the bleeding ...

The surgery pun started late, sebab doctor ade emergency ... So it started around 2pm, & dlm 7 o'clock baru abes ... Sempat la my brother watch me guling2, sampai die suh bagi pain killer lagi ... Padahal dah tak bole nak bagi any more meds after the 5hrs surgery ...

Xpayah nak buat post ngeri sgt, let me share a few things that I learnt from this experience ...

1. The Importance of Insurance

Saye tade insurance, yes ... Salah saye, tak disiplin membayar ... Padahal aku dah hade the perfect plan to cover this illness dgn AIG, for about rm80 jek per month ... Memang la  maximum dorang kaver 5k jek, tapi saper nak bagi ko 5k tu di kala everything need to be decided on the spot ??

After scan tu, nurse estimated 5-8k for laproscopy ... Ni dah termasuk cost admit, but because of a bit complication tu ... Cost pun melambung2 la mcm ombak menghempas pantai mase musim hujan kat Pantai Barat ... Geddit ?? Meh aku bagi numbers, baru korang paham ...

For the 5hrs operation, the operating theater cost rm1800 ... Same harge dgn anesthetic ntah pape which I understood as the bius thru out the surgery ... Divide rm3600 with 5hrs, instead of thousand five ... There's extra 2k for that 'a bit complication' ... Nasib baik saye ade bapak yg bnyk duit, bole bayar kan my surgery kat my gynea (private) ... Kalau tak ?? Bratur ah, tunggu turn kat government hospital ...

2. Try to Avoid Surgery


Xkesah la, untuk ape tujuan sekali pun ... Surgery is the last option, mcm aku nak branak ... Yeaaa, saye bole branak lagi ... Sebab my fibroid was found mase die kecik lagi, so far my rahim is just fine ... After operation pun, Dr. Jaswant informed me that my eggs are fine ... Abe, mimpi la nak kawen 2 ehhh ... Heheh ...

But yes, kalau bole push normally ... I prefer normal labour, dr surgery ... Right now ?? It's painful when I pee, every time lepas makan nak pegi toilet ... Sebab everything nearby that area is very sensitive ... It feel painful biler makan terlalu bnyk, dgn kate lain - I can't eat till I'm full ... Makan pun kene agak2 ...

Even my mum said, time branak ... Sakit mase tu jek la ... I can walk, but I have to walk slowly ... Right now doctor advice to move around, so xde la ngade2 nak bed rest sgt ... I do walk up & down the stair slowly, but everything kene agak2 sendiri ... How much my body can take ...

Mase kat recovery, tak payah ckp ... Nak duduk pun azab ... 2days kat ward, I'm having difficulty nak lift up my legs whenever nak lay down lepas pegi toilet & stuff ... But right now after discharged ni, I feel better la ... I gain power to control my legs, cume part nak bangun ... Dr position baring to sitting, & sitting to standing itu sakit ...

3. Period Cycle Itu Important

Bukan period cycle je la, take a good care of your health ... Orang ckp suntikan hpv tu menggalak kan sex kan ?? Kalau dah ade ketumbuhan, sampai kene go thru surgery ?? Still nak ckp suntikan hpv tu tak bagus, menggalakkan life style tak sihat ??

Bnyk jek health screen, mahupun utk ladies yg blom kawen ... They do provide breast scan to detect cancer & stuff ... In my case, sebab my period cycle xstable & sakit pinggang kronik during menstrual ... So they scan my womb, just like they scan ibu2 mengandung ...

& do go to see the specialist, sebab doctor clinic2 biase ni sometimes ntah pape ... Same ah kes mcm my eczema yg the family clinic doctors ckp fungus, padahal eczema ... & this time around, doctor ckp I stress ... Sebab tu my period cycle tak regular ... Padahal ??

Ok, dah penat ... Heheh ... Enuf with that ... I'll update more on my recovery later, if things went well next week ... I guess everything will be smooth for me these few weeks, insyaAllah ... Till then, take care ~

Thursday, April 5, 2012

Things About Me: Part V - Reality Check

Dah lame tak buat post muhasabah diri sendiri, been fooling around with my feelings for the past 2months ... Mostly adalah post gedix ala2 mintak penampar ... Dgn kate lain, entry double meaning nak tembak individu2 tertentu ... Sigh, sungguh mean girl diri ini ...

Being me, I always know sebenar nyer ... That I left my heart caught up somewhere, it's just a matter of time ... That I decided to wake up, & move on with my life ... Mcm perangai guling2 atas katil di waktu pagi, kul 6 dah bangun dah ... Tapi nak guling dulu, berangan jap ... Baru nak mandi, heh ... Itu contoh termudah ... ;p

So last 2months, I left my heart under the single bed dlm bilik tu ... Di celah2 bed frame yg ranap, sebab ntah sape pegi install bende alah tu secare songsang ... Secare logic nyer, camne katil tu nak handle the load ... Biler the 3pieces strut tu yg digunakan sebagai main beam, while the other 7pieces tu hanging freely ... Bijak !!!

Citer die, pagi tadi saye kemas la bilik kucing branak  tu ... Actually, kucing tu tak branak kat situ ... Die pindah masuk jap selepas dihalau keluar oleh pemilik bilik seblah tanpa tempat berteduh kat living area tingkat atas, sebelum mak bagi dorang hak milik kekal toilet kat bawah itu ... Heh, pandai aku divert cerita ...

So, I found back my heart this morning ... Itu care penceritaan dramatic seperti selalu la, sebab saye suke impact dramatic itu ... Heh ... Secare ringkas nyer - a simple new routine (kemas bilik pagi2), had given me the wake up call that I needed since the last 2months ... Yeah, that's me ... Aku memang malas berpikir, or dengan kate lain ... I prefer ignoring my feelings, rather than discussing it ... Even with myself, wadde F kan ??

I take things for granted these 2months ... I keep blaming AQ, I complaint he's not organized enough ... I blame him for staying around without intention to commit ... I blame him for everything ... Like always, I play victim ... But it's actually me, I'm the one who's not ready ...

I'm not ready to let KA go when it happened, & until this moment ... I didn't find a place in my heart to forgive KA ... Reason ?? Clear as a glass - I don't even seek for that forgiveness ... Remember how I managed to be strong without any man during my break up last July ?? I was single for 4months, then I found KA & feel blessed to have a man to share my ups & downs ...

Why ?? Sebab hati ni ikhlas, tak kesah la hati KA ikhlas ke tak kan ... Janji I did the right thing ... I forgive that person who broke my heart into pieces, from the very most bottom part of it ... That's how I managed to be happy, that's when I can be comfortable being single ... & that's how I felt so hard when someone offer me his heart ...

For the other party tu mintak maap, adalah tak perlu ... Sebab hati yang nak memaafkan & melupakan kan tu, ada dlm diri sendiri ... So, I'll go back to be who I was last Ramadhan ... I love who I am back then, more than who I am now ... :( Tenang, & definitely living a better life ...

So that's step one - forgiveness ... 2months ago, I jumped into the 2nd step ... Which letting AQ in ... While I should find that forgiveness in the 1st place, then I can start fresh ... Open arms & open heart, then baru I can give AQ the oppurtunity he deserve ... That's why I was so angry for the past 2months ... Everything is not good enough for me, nothing suits my needs ...

So this is it, 2months later ... Will it be too late for me to fix thing ?? I think so ... Sebab if it was for me, confirm aku dah carik bf lain ... Honestly ?? 2days with less attention already made me motivate myself to stay stronger, & I can find a better man ...

At the moment, I've already appeal rayuan to AQ ... Bukan rayuan la, more like a short term plan for us for the mean time ... Things didn't look good at the moment, but at least I tried ... Whatever will happened after this, akan saye conclude kan dlm Things About Me Part Six ... Yang ntah biler akan terhasil itu ...

For now, I should try to be that person who live a happy life since she hold no grudge upon nobody & her life is so much better sebab she have less important things to care ... Bukan nyer be mad sebab kene baling almari, or wish mamat yang ask her to marry him before he go to bed & pegi tengok Ombak Rindu kat Mesra Mall dgn perempuan lain in the morning tu mendapat pembalasan setimpal ...

I used to say, "I don't do revenge, that's in God's hand" ... Yes, for me to go serang pempuan lagi satu tu ... Adalah mustahil, far below my standard ... But, dlm hati ?? If he got dumped & perempuan tu kawen dgn jantan lain, comfirm aku lompat suker ??

So let it be, & I'll keep praying that one fine day ... I'll find a space in my heart to forgive all those who needed the forgiveness ... With, or without them to apologize ... It's not for them pun, it's for my own ketenangan & happiness ...

Ps: mase entry ni ditulis, aku tgh pujuk AQ ...
Updet: I've moved on with AK, I'm dating & happy ...

Friday, March 2, 2012

Another Negative Post

I've tried to find an interesting topic to share, like I've tried a few times nak post that entry on how much I adore AQ ... But rase hipokrit kat diri sendiri if I put that up, sebab it's shaky between us since he left last weekend ... Back to work ...


So, a few people addressed their concerns to me since yesterday ... After what I posted on facebook ... Yes, I admit ... Aku memang emo ... I'm lying if I tell you guys I'm just fine ... I went thru a break up 3weeks ago, & now there's another heart breaking moment that I have to deal with ...

I cried my heart out, hahah ... But only when I'm alone in the car, it's my ego ... Hahah ... I don't cry in public ... & I'm good in hiding my feelings ... But actually, when I think back ... Aku pun tak paham kenape nak nangis, ;p ... I guess it's the emotions clouded since the last heart break, that I left ignored ...

'Her/She' dlm context tersebut bukan la org ketiga like my previous relationship ... It's something I can't tell, only those I trusted jek I bagitau ... But I'm going to explain things in the most proper way I can do, in the same time trying my best utk tidak menyinggung mane2 pihak ...

So, over my conversation dgn P (nama sebenar dirahsiakan) ... I should forgive him, sebab 'her' didn't count ... Because it didn't involve feelings ... Then akan timbul argument, why kene forgive AQ ... But not KA ... As I said in my previous post, KA is a mistake ... & the situation is totally different ...

Then I had this conversation with my mum earlier this morning, she just got back from India on Wednesday ... & guess what ?? Instead of sharing her experiences visiting daddie, she asked - "How's ur abe doing" ?? Giler pissed of aku di situ, that's the 1st question she asked me ... Bukan "Did you went for holiday in these 2weeks" ke, die tanye bf aku sehat ke tak ?? Demn ...

My point is, my mum kind  of telling me ... It's a men's nature ... & I should forgive him ... Tu dah rephrase la, mamak told me in different sentence ... Indirectly ... It's just me actually, I dunno how to forgive him ... I know, I shouldn't compare them ... I can't compare what KA did, dgn AQ ... But why do I have to care about him feeling hurt being compared, while he don't try to understand my feelings when he repeat the same mistake KA did ??

So ... Right now, lets take things slow ... I can't really tell, what I wanna do ... Because honestly I dunno how to handle this ... Yes, I can forgive him ... But tell me how ?? Let's pray, with God's will ... My heart will be lebih tenang, & I can think about this in the whole picture ...

Give it some time, then I'll made up my mind ... Don't worry about me ... Yeah, things are rough for me ... But I have to deal with it, instead of running away ... Enough said, I'll update with you guys when I got the situation resolve ... Pray for me ~

Thursday, March 1, 2012

Reysha Itu Sexy

Actually, I'm tired of negative post ... Sebab been reading my blog generally a few days back, giler last 3post sgt depressive ... Tapi hati ni membare selepas ape yg baru lepas saye discover sebentar tadi ... So never mind la, negative ke ... Positive, this is something I wanted to share ... Citer ni dah basi sebenar nyer, dr last year - end of December ... That's when we had combined event dgn this one government bodies ... Jgn tanye siape ...

Aku takde la kejam mane, nak sampai nak reveal nama ... Masa & tempat kejadian ... Cukup sekadar gambaran individu tersebut, rumusan dari kejadian ... Serta pendapat & pandangan peribadi saye tentang ape yg saye faham dari tindak tanduk dan perlakuan tersebut ... Chewah, aku memang ade bakat jadik lawyer ... Hehe ...

Satu ketika dahulu, aku dihentam oleh salah seorang peserta combined event tersebut ... Quoted: Sakit telinge dgr org mengate aku berpakaian seksi ... Ekoran dr statement tersebut, kitorang gaduh2 over the phone ... Towards me blaming makcik2 government yg tak open minded ... Seriyesly ?? Aku pakai baju kurung pun dorang akan ckp aku pakai seksi2 ...

That's what I mean, knee length skirt + long sleeves shirt ... ++ Cardigan lagi ... Itu sexy ?? Seriously ??

Dalam masa yg same, berite minah pakai sexy2 mase event tersebut tersebar secare menyeluruh kat pusat operasi dorang ... Government kan ?? Paham2 jek la ... Aku tak dpt pasti kan sebenar nyer, sape kah penyebar cerita ... Until, aku pegi stalk sorang mamat ni ... Aku google name die, maka t'jumpe la saye akan carta organisasi office beliau ... Dgn name boss die skali ...

Kantoi di situ, skarang aku tau la sape pakcik yg gigih menyebarkan cerita keseksian itu ...

Bukan pasal he spread the gossip 200km away ... Tapi sebab I honestly admire him ... For the 1st time I was brought pegi meeting when I joint the project, was a meeting pasal CPM ... My heart was pouring for him, sebab pakcik tu mcm hebat giler ... Relaxed, cool ... Somehow came up wif killing question every now & then ... Yeah pakcik, that's how much I adore you ...

Adore & pouring my heart out, is strictly work related - charismatic & ability on delivering the task ... Kalau kau kecoh duduk site 2tahun, tapi aku tanye size culvert pun xbole nak jawap ?? Hahah, sendiri mau ingat la ... Tapi xde la sampai giler kat laki org, those who knows me ... Are well aware that I don't do married man, so does bf org ... KA is a mistake, aku tatau die ade gf ... If only I knew ?? I memang xkacau, sebab aku tak suke org kacau bf aku ...

I'm naturally attracted to a man that good at work, they got this level of confident that differ from those yg tau ckp jek ... But xbole deliver ... Tapi aku pun, entry level je kan ?? So tak yah la nak complaint sgt ... Yes, I'm attracted ... My the attraction is more to admiring & respect, bukan kejar nak buat calon suami ... Hokay ??

Mcm married guys, they have this particular extra attraction (to me la) compared to those single guys ... They're neat, & more relaxed from what I've seen ... Of course, sebab ade yg menjage ... So they're neat ... & maybe because the responsibilities to the family, made them look matured compared to the single guys ... Again, I don't do married guys ... All I have for them is respect ...

Bukan senang for me to grant my respect to an individual, unless die memang betul2 bagus ... Sebab honestly, aku memang judgemental ... :D ... So having someone that I really respect to things that I personally think unnecessary & so not his level to do so, just made me even more judgemental ... Like seriously, if earlier I will say - "Owh, pakcik tu ... Sgt hot, sebab die power giler buat CPM" ... Now there'll be an addition to that story - "Owh, pakcik tu memang hebat pun ... Tapi tu la, gatal" ... Geddit ??

Enough said, individual's behaviour is not something you can change ... No matter what you said ... All I can do, is be aware ... Mcm aku dah tau pakcik tu gatal, so be extra caution being around him ... Jage pemakaian, & watch out my words ... Make sure nothing come out from me yg bole make him use as an excuse ...

Like I always feel it's ok to join the guys' dirty talk every once in a while ... But it might make them simply judge aku ni easy ... So, be extra careful with words when dealing with these kind of guys ... I'm going to stop now ... People's attitude won't change for the world, so it's up to you to make the change that make world a better place ... Till then ~

Thursday, February 9, 2012

How To Know, He's Not THE ONE

Good morning, what a refreshing week for those working in Selangor ... Hehe, I managed go to Kerteh on Monday ... Visit my 2nd family there, saje kacau2 dorang ... Show off aku tak keje, haha ... But it was a fun day for me ... Nanti I'll make another entry about that, because it was the best day I had yet ... So far this year ...

Title related, over ntah bape belas failed relationship ni ... I pick up a few confirm signs, about perangai2 lelaki ... That u should be aware of, & I can be 80% confirmed that it's demn true ... Sebab I've been thru 2similar cases last year, cume watak2 adalah b'beza ... Name dirahsiakan, & sorry KA & FA kalau terasa ... Since it's still hot & new, hehe ...

1. When He Hit You


Don't worry, neither KA or FA ever hit me ... But I've been emphasizing this since day 1 aku start blogging, or even earlier than that ... Kaki pukul bukan lah calon suami ideal, walaupun die tak sengaje ... Let's say, t'siku sebab tindakan reflect ... Sengaje atau tidak, pukul perempuan itu tidak cool ... Period ... I've been thru an event, aku kene baling almari oleh seorang b'name lelaki ... What I learnt from that - I know I can definitely take a hit, meaning kalau laki aku abuse aku ... I'm sure aku bole tahan kene tampar or kene humban dgn handphone ... But I choose not to, settle down for a life like that ...

2. When He Ask You for Money


Real gentlemen, don't take money from the ladies ... Mcm mane susah pun, someone u put faith on to be ur children's father shouldn't ask you for money ... Biler u ade rezeki lebih, nak blanjer gi makan mahal2 ... That's a different thing ... Even tok kadi yg nikah kan my kazen said, "Duit bini, xbole mintak ... Tapi kalau die bagi, ambek" ... So when he started to say, "U dah gaji kan ?? Bagi I 2ratus, I tade duit ni" ... That means he have no intention of marrying u, but he's keeping u around for his rainy days ...

3. When He Ask for Your Nude Photo


Biler a guy, ikhlas nak b'kawan with a good intention ... He'll never ask for nude photos, 3g phone sex whatsoever ... Get urself to think girls, booty calls ... & segala yg lucah2 itu, itu ade lah tanggungjawap scandals ... If u're expecting to be treat like a gf, then don't low urself & entertain him ... Takut die carik gf lain ?? Let it be, most probably memang dah ade pun ... So when ur bf start to ask for those, leave because he's not serious ... A guy shud respect you enough, if he picture u as the mother of his children ...

4. When He Let You Drive


Sorry FA, but dulu I ikhlas drive sebab I je yg ade valid license ... Haha ... Face the fact, when slept all the way ... & let u drive 3hundreds km away, u're definitely not on the top of his priority list ... My AQ ?? I just drive 200km pegi balik pun, he took the wheel ... Even I'm a better driver than he is, hehe ... So lucky me, it's a crystal clear comparison ... How much AQ cares, & why I should not put KA anywhere in my priority list ...

5. When He Let You Do What You Want


Ko ckp, "Abe, I nak gi clubbing ... Befday N" ... & he said, "ok" ... Tu makne nyer, die dah xkesah ape nak jadik kat ko ... Auuccchhh, kannn ?? But that's the truth, when he cares ... Kau ckp la, "I nak pegi Penang, Z nak blanjer ... Fully sponsored" ... Die akan ckp, "jgn pegi" ... Biler ko ckp nak pegi clubbing, janji la mcm mane pun ... 'I tak joget, I tak smoke' ... The answer should always be 'NO', no matter what ... Kalau die bagi je, xkesah ... Start looking for a new one yahhh, hehe ...

6. When He Started To Lie


When he lie to you, even if it doesn't involve someone else ... Mcm die tak keje, somehow die nak hide his activities (even die lepak2 dgn member jek pun) from u ... He just jump into conclusion, said 'lying is the best way' ... There must be something wrong there ... Being next to each other should make you feel comfortable, complete ... When he lie, that's mean he's not comfortable being around you ... My advice - leave ... Because he'll keep lying, again & again ...

7. When He Hides You from His Family & Friends


Nak kene explain ke ?? Maybe to meet the parents tu, agak tak relevant biler kau baru kenal 2bln kan ?? But when he denies you in front of his colleagues, especially from work ... Indirectly it means - 'kau tak cukup bagus utk die destroy his reputation at work standing next to u' ... Dlm fb pun buat tatau jek, jage saham kat awek2 dlm his friendlist ... How clearer shud I be ?? Most probably he keeps you around utk geli2 jek ...

8. When He Stops Investing


Ni includes time & money ... When he stop spending his time wif u, or text u sipi2 jek ... When u're bed rest sick, the most he will say - "I hope u get well soon" ... That's mean, u're not worth to waste his time/money on ... Sebab long term, die dah tak nampak u guys' future together ... So he won't put in any more effort, he'll take it easy ... In other hand, he's trying to let u off the hook little by little ... Less calls, less dates ... Dgn harapan, lame2 it's gone ... Bile2 die perlu, die carik ko balik ... U should know better how to handle that, aite ??

I hope it help ... This is a few things that I picked up along the way, tak semesti nye KA do every single thing listed ... Ade jugak a few yg FA buat dulu, then repeated by KA ... By then I'm sure KA pun not for me, somehow I still believe in 2nd chance ... But life is about learning, & it never stops ...

It's all go back to the bottom of ur heart, once I said - "Kalau dah nak tu, dah tau dah c polan ni kaki pompuan ... Tapi degil, nak jugak kan" ?? It depends on individuals' tolerance & patience, ade org bole sabar kalau bf die tak call or tak sms seminggu ... Mcm aku, xbole ... 2minggu hari sudah cukup utk membuat kan aku meroyan hati ini tabah & move on, hahah ... Yup, dgn kate lain - in average, lepas 2weeks aku akan ade bf lain ...

I better stop, sebab confident level aku melimpah ruah skarang ... Keje puji diri sendiri jek, aku pun rimas ... Hahahahahhaahah ... Xde niat nak kutuk sesape dlm post ini, a few things listed pun kalau aku bace balik ... Kene kat batang hidung sendiri, heh ... It's just a few of my experience that I feel worth to share, what's hidden under the sweet lines lelaki2 buaye ...

Nite ~

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