Nuffnang Ads

Sunday, March 24, 2013

A Weird Dream

Last nite was really strange, it was like a wrap up of a few dreams I had before ... Somehow includes everything happened to me recently ... The best part, I can remember the sequel ... Since normally mimpi ni all over the place ...

It started with a visit to RI's place, or maybe it started be4 that but that's the most I can remember ... RI's place mcm overly occupied, something like there are friends visiting & stuff ... Somehow his mum was there, & feel like a reality tv to please his mum ... The best part was that, I'm competing !!! With another girl I recognize so well in that dream, somehow I forgot the moment I woke up ... U know I'm not good in kissing S (even in my dreams, lol), so upon frustration of almost losing I left the house & went to a place across the road ...

The place I knew well, sebab been reappears in my dreams for a few times already ... It's a room that I always spent my time in, somehow it wasn't mine ... But I think I dreamed of the place earlier before all these dreams, since I got the idea of my missing keys for the drawer in the office was left in there ... Somehow I have to break into that room ...

So the place got commercialized, & I met someone I knew by the character ... But her figure was totally different, she's a mutual friend to someone who owns the room if I'm not mistaken ... Something like the room was turned into a shop, & I saw a glimpse of my boss at the counter ... From my previous job of course ... Somehow I still can't related the girl to anybody in my present ...

Upon not knowing her very well, I still follow her around on a crazy ride ... Then she left me on the side of the road, I have to walk a few blocks to get back to RI's place ... Owh, I was giving her direction to Seri Kembangan since her next destination is Mines ... Seriyes, memang ntah pape mimpi ni ... Then, I met KB ... It was a casual meeting like our usual hangouts, until I saw Senawang 2 & Senawang 3 standing around me while I'm trying to run away from KB ...

Senawang 2 & 3 ni are my bf's best friends dr sekolah ... So from that point, I just got escorted back to a place I'll never know sebab we never reach there & my mentally retarded brother dah jerit2 suruh bangun ... Somehow before it ends, we went to a shop to fetch my sister ... Yeah, adik cherry works in a shop ... A fashion designer's clothing line if I'm not mistaken ... Haha, it's getting more funny as I wrote I down ...

No need more elaboration on the dream, let's go to translation ...

1st Paragraph
It will never work out between me & my Remi Ishak (bukan the real Remy Ishak ye girls, don't worry about that) since obviously there is/was/always be another girl ...

2nd Paragraph
There was something that wasn't mine, somehow I kept using for my own good ... I really think this is job related ...

3rd Paragraph
Utk menguatkan lagi hujah saya dlm perenggan ke-2, I mentioned about that place got commercialized kan ?? That I lost my access to ... So I lost my job recently, lost all the privilege ... & a glimpse of my boss, that's I haven't figure out the purpose of his image popping out ... Hehe ...

4th Paragraph
I think that girl represent all the substance interrupting me along the way in my career, I let them in ... Even when I'm barely knew them, then they ended up messing my work ... Financial & stuff ...

5th Paragraph
Of course it's about my beloved en. Nasir, very protective & I'm well taken care ... Pasal adik cherry & fashion designing tu, agak merepek ok ... Let's just go design a building, okay ??

Huhu, so much for a long dream in the weekend that give me the rush to write on Sunday morning ... Not even my crazy brother manage to interrupt wif his desperate urge to get my response on whatever he's talking about ... I know he really loves my response, I just don't feel like sharing my ideas just to be undermine ...

Time to go, Sunday's breakfast are downstairs waiting ... Happy Sunday !!!

Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless device via Vodafone-Celcom Mobile.

Thursday, March 21, 2013

Breathe: Part III - Final

I had trouble sleeping ... Haha, giler tipu ... I just got off the phone wif Amirul actually, we go down to every details where things went wrong ... It's a process to forgive, I'm well aware ... But I'm not going back there ... I just can't, sebab the damaged is too big ... Far gone broken to be fixed ... Some of you from my Facebook might already know that I'm wif someone else now ... Yes, I'm going crazy over en. Naseer Hassan ... & Amirul Haqim is a history now ...

Let's put that aside, since it wasn't the main highlight for this entry ... So upon all those dramas at work, they let me go at the end of the day ... Memang la nak sumpah everyone who ambek share to destroy my career, but I think I dah ikhlas kan almost 80% ... Tipu la if I tell you guys that I'm fine wif someone causing me to loose my job kan, as a human ... I still got kelemahan untuk b'prasangka toward someone else ... For now, I keep telling myself - 'rezeki saya kat situ dah takde' ... Trying to convince my mum wif that as well, & not holding grudge towards anyone ...

Yes, it's office politics that get me unemployed ... But look into the bright sight ... I'll get the chance to do what I love to do, which is being excellent on what I can do best ... At this point I won't say that I'm good with reinforced concrete design, but I'm going to learn ... Make myself an expert, & be the goddess of RC design ... Which I can't do during my previous employment ... Maybe a year ago was a sat back, but let's put that behind and focus on the future ... Yes, this new job opportunity is scary ... But let's be positive and give myself more credits, I can do this ... Just like I can do well in QAQC back then in 2010, something I knew nothing about when I joined the consultant firm ...

I just need to trust myself, stack up all those confidence I had for my career ... Instead of wasting it on dramas & silly matters such as the ladies nights & the competition of being the bitch that stands out ... For whom ?? Haha, giler terasa wasted for the past couple months ... Now I see what Leenda concerned about, even my party animal pal who turned his life upside down pun have seen that issue for me ... Najeeb just give me an advice cum encouragement to start my new job ... Owh, how far apart have I let myself felt into ...

I know I shud have call en. Naseer instead of Amirul, but it's just something I used to share wif Amirul ... Once I've told Amirul, 'I miss the old me, who woke up late at 6am while I shud already reach Kuantan by then ... Somehow get up & leave, trus drive to Kerteh & reached the office at 10am' ... Yeah, I still show up for work even when I'm half day late ... My en. Naseer is very strict, and awesomely intelligent ... I just can't win the conversation, because he knows better ... Let's not make that an excuse, everything will be different from this moment ...

Loosing my job is scary, not really actually ... Hehe ... But then, let's put it in decent way shall we ... :D As I said earlier, maybe bukan rezeki saya di situ ... I loose my job, somehow my car loan got approved ... I've been living a jobless life since the past couple months, somehow I got a new job right after they ended my contract a week ago ... Which mean I'm already employed ... What else should I complaint about ??

I am, very much lucky ... I removed my fibroid, but still I can produce babies ... I have no reason to be ungrateful ... Maybe because of my contract ended, that guy replacing me got himself a job ... Maybe he needed that position more than I do, maybe this new opportunity is the best for me ... Things happen for a reason, so let's cherish that ... I have another week to go unemployed, before I start my role as a Structural Engineer ... So cheers to that ...

It's not the end of the world when you felt at one point and stumble, get back up and do better ... Yes, I'm very lucky that my stumble might looks like a hiccup to someone else ... But then keep a positive attitude along the way, don't let anyone keep you down ... But if it did, find a way to make yourself better each & every single day ... Don't be like me, drown for months then just realize I shudn't stay drown ... That I actually can swim back up, heh ... Let's make that a lesson, & don't forget the hard times you went thru that might be one of the thing that helps you reach your victory ...
To a new future ~

Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless device via Vodafone-Celcom Mobile.

Saturday, March 2, 2013

5 Tips on Handling Break Ups

I'm definitely not the person to give advice on relationship, as I'm really sucks in relationships ... But I went thru a lot, enough to share my thoughts on how to get over the painful break up ... Since sooner the better, so these are advices to survive your heart breaking moment & bounce back stronger ... Amirul was screwing another girl in JB while I'm sitting @Starbucks somewhere in Singapore writing this draft, well 80% of these was written on that very night ... Of course I didn't knew it right away ... But man, girl's instinct is demn good ...

1. Burn Down the Memories
Bakar gambar, pulang kan baju sebakul ... Or whatever it is, is just symbolic ... Memories can't be erase, you just have to deal with it ... Look back & find the most cherish moment ... Mcm aku seronot gi Golok wif my ex, & the first thing he bought for me was a skirt ... So I put on both skirt & the t-shirt we bought in golok the whole day, trying to find out what I really feel about it ... Nangis ke, t'kenang2 ke ?? Or try to find the smell of golok on it ... But nope, in my case I felt like nothing was missing pun ... I wasn't trying to recall the memory, it's all just my emotional moments upon being left ...

2. Don't Listen to Mariah Carey
Don't ever listen to Mariah Carey's songs the few day within the break up, choose Beyonce instead ... Sebab Mariah Carey cam insisted that your ex is still in to you, 'we belong together' bla x3 & it's so not true ... While Beyonce's are normally came in strong lyrics, represent strong women ... Just bounce back & find another man, if he don't appreciate you there a lot of other guys out there that will treat you well ... Bukan being sad & sorry, stay ... Hoping that he'll come around sooner or later ...

3. Go For a Vacation
Giler typical, hahah ... But it works ... During the last break up, I went to Perhentian ... Because of the technologies nowadays, most probably your ex might know about it somehow ... Luckily for me, my ex came back swimming ... Heh, but lemme tell you it's not like what you've been told in the fairy tales ... Bukan sumer ex akan come back running, but the vacation will help ... Experience new thing, find things that you might never know before ... From my Perhentian Trip, I got to learned how to enjoy snorkeling ... White sands & turquoise water, that's the thing I've been missing until this moment ...

4. Jangan Mengurat/Get Close with Someone Related
So in the other hand, for the case where ur ex didn't come back running ... Memang la rase mcm total victory when you can land a date wif his friend, ape kah lagi best friend ... But trust me, it's not going to help ... It happened to me back then in 2012, rase mcm gud2 la kan ... Perasan hot, member tu nak layan kau ... Hahah ... But truth is, it'll keep you connected to the ex ... & most probably will not be in the way that you expected ... So start fresh, find new options ... :D

5. Get Comfortable
Get comfortable with your new life, stop comparing ... Just enjoy what u have in present, stop comparing with the past ... Mcm aku sebok thinking I'm so comfortable with what I had wif Amirul, but in a while I'll start to appreciate whatever en. Naseer did for me ... Memang in some aspect rase selesa with the ex, but all you have to do is adjust ... Maybe en. Naseer tak mcm the ex, but find the good values in your present ... Instead of holding on to your past, & taking things for granted ...

Before it's too late, start looking out for yourself & move on ... Your relationship fails for a reason, so instead of putting your efforts on fixing what's already broken ... It's might be a lot better to put your energy and focus on building a new, better improved one ... Leenda was so worried about me upon the break up, that I moved on too fast with en. Naseer ... But things are going so good so far, why do I have to bring myself back & miss it ...

Till then, enjoy the present & just let past be the past ... Owh, it's really good that I have all these drives to clean my drafts folder ... I love Sunday !!!
<3 <3 <3

Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless device via Vodafone-Celcom Mobile.

Search This Blog