Thursday, October 27, 2011

Untitled

Do you ever feel like someone's talking bad about you, judging you when they don't ever met you ... Somehow have a strong opinion of what type of person you are, base on their perception ... & no matter what you do, you can't change the way they think of you ... & it's just not worth it to stand up to those kind of people ... Since you're never really connected anyway ...

I'm that person, who often got misunderstood by my appearance ... I have this cold face towards someone I barely know, & I have no intention of getting rid of that ... Since that was me defense mechanism towards something I can't trust - like someone you just met ...

Seriously, I don't do that purposely so I can give them something to talk about ... It's just me, I'm not quite open to those I'm not comfortable with ... & I don't live to please others ... But I'm human as well, sometimes ... Or maybe each & every single time, it hurts when people judge ... It depends rather you care, or you don't & just move on ...

People said, "Xpe la, muke cantek ... Senang je" ... The truth is, it's not easy ... When you have a lot of talents, you collect pile of enemies as well ... Lets not address them as an enemy, they're envy ... Bukan senang to say, "I'm happy for you" when you really mean it ... Put yourself in your friend's shoes, do you really think they're really happy for you ?? I rather not say that, I'll came up with some other phrases if it didn't came from my heart ...

I was a different person back then, aku suke menyerang - voice out my opinion ... In an offensive way of course, aku suke humiliate person that messed with me in my blog ... But I promised myself that I won't do that again, since I have no idea who's my silent readers are ... Of course I wrote it to send a message to some particular individuals, but the whole world can read it ... It's just not right to do so ...

I see that as an appropriate & wiser step in making my writing inspirational & benefit others ... So, from previous drama ... Which I already wish it ended, it does ... Somehow, they still find ways to get my attention ... & here we go again ... My relationship ended up in March, can you imagine how long was that ?? It's been more than 6months now ... Why can't everybody just get over it ??

Nothing they do that really makes me care actually, until ... Someone uploaded our picture back in January ... I deserve to be mad over that, it's simply over the limit ... I even have that album deleted when I started a new relationship in June ... Memang la there's no harm since I'm single, but that's just too much ...

I'm not that mad to go scream at her, enough with a simple step of damage control - delete that picture & pretend like nothing happened ... Apart of me, tired of the drama actually ...

Honestly, I pity her ... I do go thru that phase at some point in my relationship ... That was when I was with Muiz, it's just me alone in the relationship ... But I'm going to say I'm hundred times luckier, sebab Muiz is actually existed ... His attention is there, just I can't have his heart ...

Of course, I'm jealous ... Tgk org lain declared themselves in a relationship, & they're happy with each other ... While I can't have that with Muiz, because he's not on Facebook ... But managing 'the boyfriend's' Facebook account ?? Update status sorang, like sorang2 ... Seriously ?? Kesian tau ... Actually I don't really care, but when you uploaded that picture of us ... That's my privacy you're messing with ...

I don't know what she's thinking, if she thinks I'm a competition ... That's rubbish because I'm not even competing ... & if you think by humiliating me will make you a better person, I suggest you think again ...

Actually the inner side of me still think it's that less attractive girl from previous drama yg made these up ... I do think she purposely create the chat log with herself, because she knows someone would have read it ... Even saying it made me feel bad, but I'm not going to elaborate on that ...

It's just made me think, no matter what happened ... I'm still lucky ... With all these mess in my life, I still manage to find way to be happy ... Around people who really loves me, instead of hoping for someone to love you ...

Don't worry about me, I'm starting to get comfortable being single now ... Till then, take care guys ...

~Lots of Luv~

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