The Break Up

Hahah, xtau la ini post break up yang ke berapa ... Biase nye dlm draft jek, xsempat nak publish ... From the moment I broke up, sampai the next bf ... Xsiap2, hahah ... Bile dah ade new bf, mcm xperlu la kan ... Nak post about the break up ... So better I get it done sementare masih panas ...

I broke up about 2weeks ago, tomorrow will be exactly 2weeks ... & I'm doing just fine ... Last week I was surround by my families, & a friend of mine spent her weekend in KL recently ... So we're busy shopping, heheh ...

Ok, enough diverting ... Heheh ... The 1st week, I'm doing just fine ... I'm practicing silent therapy for myself ... & it works, for me it is ... Heheh, I can drive back from Kerteh ... Without thinking, 'Fariz busy tak mlm ni, sempat tak jumpe' ?? Or, calling him every now & then ... Then he won't gave any confirmed deal, dah sampai Gombak baru he'll say - "You balik la dulu, I banyak keje ni" ...

That's how our relationship works actually ... He never confirm anything, sampai kene force ... Baru nak make a move ... But what I found out last weekend, shockingly surprising ... Hahah, how can I make it more dramatic ?? It is, very dramatic ... But lemme explain on the break up chronology, so the post didn't get all over the place ...

16th June - He ignored my sms/call the whole night ... When I'm around, he ignored all others' sms & calls ... So what you expect me to expect ??

17th June - Called him, tgh hari baru he responded ... Said, "I xsedap hati" ... But I didn't confront him right away ... Then I send him a text, 'I rase you curang' ... Then he spilled, he went out clubbing dgn his ex ...

22nd June - We still went out together ... This is when I figured, sumer org tgk I mcm kesian ... & he left pictures of him hugging another girl in his phone ... When he knows I check his phone all the time ...

26th June - He kept avoiding to talk about it, but I said "I tak nak carik gaduh, I just nak bende ni settle" ... We broke up that night ...

30th June - Hang out with my friends, and suke2 asked "Ada jak kan, c Fariz dtg dengan perempuan lain" ... Answered: "Yahhh, tapi xkan la kami mau menyibuk terus call kestau kau" ...

6th July - I found out, his ex is dating a good friend of my brother ...

7th July - He sms'ed, sampai call2 ... Nak tau, ape yg people tell me about him ... He even said, I made the situation worse ... Siap ckp, "I dengan u, xde isu org ketige" ... Giler ahhh, kala2 bha kfcm ... Hahah ...

I didn't ask for any of these to happen pun, tapi Tuhan nak tunjuk kan ?? Tibe2 I jadik sgt malas nak elaborate on the details, sebab obvious kot ?? All I know now, ape2 pun yg he's trying to explain ... Don't mean a thing now, he should explain to me 2weeks earlier ... Kenape skarang baru nak mengelabah explain kan ??

Saye sangat malas sebenar nye, nak layan org mcm ni ... Because I'll tend to became emotional, & say things I shouldn't say ... Making myself low, maki2 just to be even ... It made me feel uncivilized ... That's why I prefer silent treatment, because I don't want anymore explanation ... Buat sakit hati jek kot ?? I was your gf back then, it was my responsibility to hear your problem ... But now ?? Why should I care, about things he did a month ago ??

I decided not to be in touch with him ... I took the trouble to contact his friend, & collect my things ... Sebab xnak b'harap ape2 dr die, & I passed his sweater to his friend ... So I don't have to see him ... That's how determined I am, to get over him ...

I don't go, ask around ... To find out what he did, it just come to me ... Every time, like a reminder to me ... Why we shouldn't be together from the very 1st day ...

It suppose to be a clean break up, I don't feel good putting up this post pun ... It's not healthy for me when I wanted to move on, it's not healthy for my future relationship ... I should been focusing on the future, instead of looking back on the past ...

I'm moving on, he should do the same ... I'm waiting for that moment, to wake up in the morning ... & forgive everything he did ... I can go further & write down every single drama, & lies he came up wif ... But it's not necessary, sebab dah xde ape2 kepentingan ...

I want a life, with people who knows how to appreciate me ... Bukan create more drama around me, to cover the fact that you've taken me for granted ... Cube fahami itu ... & respect my decision ... I admit I want him badly, but that was back then ... I don't want him around, that's what happen now ...